@oneunderscore__

ceo @theonion

Joined January 2010
  • Tweets64.9K
  • Following8.4K
  • Followers363K
5.8KMedia
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The Onion
@TheOnion19 Dec 2025
CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year theonion.com/cia-realizes-it…
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very manly muppet🐝🇵🇸🍉@mustardenemy3 Dec 2025
I need an Onion Newspaper subscription so badly but I want it delivered by someone tossing it onto my front porch from the basket of their bicycle as they keep moving forward
Moongazer
@joeybeastmarket2 Dec 2025
ive found the first 100% effective ad. pear time
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onion person@CantEverDie4 Dec 2025
getting the onion newspaper is worth it alone for the ads
The Onion
@TheOnion4 Dec 2025
We Won't Allow Savings Like These To Last. Become an Onion Member at 25% off here: membership.theonion.com/?cam…
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John Nack
@jnack4 Dec 2025
Replying to @MelaninIsOP_ @TheOnion
Christmas truly came early this year. 😅
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I Deserve it All 🇨🇦@MelaninIsOP_3 Dec 2025
Replying to @TheOnion
Gonna use this a lot lmao 🤣
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The Onion
@TheOnion2 Dec 2025
Get more news than your fragile mind can handle. Subscribe today at 25% off. membership.theonion.com/?cam…

Join The Onion

Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.

membership.theonion.com
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The Onion
@TheOnion7 Oct 2025
Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT. Only at The Onion on Youtube here: youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQ….
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The Onion
@TheOnion25 Sep 2025
Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile is in select theaters October 2.
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The Onion
@TheOnion18 Sep 2025
This Week's Onion Magazine:
Charlie Kirk, Not In His Own Words: We Honor The Right-Wing Activist By Making Up Quotes That Sound Much Better, Given The Moment

ALT Charlie Kirk, Not In His Own Words: We Honor The Right-Wing Activist By Making Up Quotes That Sound Much Better, Given The Moment

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The Onion
@TheOnion18 Sep 2025
Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From theonion.com/trump-spends-en…

Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From

LONDON—Claiming that he recognized the member of the royal family, but his memory was hazy, President Donald Trump has spent his entire trip to the U.K. trying to figure out where he knows Prince...

theonion.com
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The Onion
@TheOnion16 Sep 2025
Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk theonion.com/report-you-to-b…

Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk

NEW YORK—Insisting your fate was sealed the moment you clicked the link, a report released Tuesday found that you will be fired for reading this headline about Charlie Kirk. “Shortly after you...

theonion.com
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@oneunderscore__31 Oct 2022
I talked this morning about Elon Musk, his Paul Pelosi conspiracy theory, and how you lose a democracy in the age of the internet.
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onion person@CantEverDie26 Aug 2025
i love holding real news in my hands
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The Onion
@TheOnion25 Aug 2025
1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers, on our new series, Encircled. Subscribe at membership.theonion.com/tote… today and receive a free tote bag.
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Michael Kruse
@michaelkruse22 Aug 2025
The Onion. tinyurl.com/4k63xez6
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WSJ Business News
@WSJbusiness21 Aug 2025
When new owners took the helm of the Onion last year, they tried to revive the satirical publication by rolling back the publication. Their bet on print is starting to pay off on.wsj.com/4lwGOXj

Exclusive | The Onion Brought Back Its Print Edition. The Gamble Is Paying Off.

Print editions appeal to nostalgic readers and stand out in a crowded digital-media landscape, making them an attractive strategic play.

wsj.com
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The Onion
@TheOnion18 Aug 2025
Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything theonion.com/conservative-ma…

Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything

FLOWER MOUND, TX—Condemning the “woke left” for what he called the “modern evisceration of masculinity,” local conservative man Hank Daniels confirmed Monday that he was never going to stop being...

theonion.com
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Liv 🇵🇸@bisexualbozo15 Aug 2025
This bar I was at had a physical copy of the Onion and LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN IT
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Aaron Fritschner@Fritschner12 Aug 2025
Will Chamberlain
@willchamberlain11 Aug 2025
I brought my family to DC for the Cherry Blossom festival. The first thing I saw when I exited the L’Enfant Plaza Metro was a gang of youths driving ATVs down the street, one of whom was doing a wheelie So forgive me if I doubt that crime is down
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Bryce P. Tetraeder@BryceTetraeder22 Jun 2025
I have sent a copy of ‘The Onion’ to every member of Congress. To spread its message to less powerful people, I have also taken out an ad in a lesser newspaper. Read my full letter here: theonion.com/why-im-sending-…
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