Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi) header
Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi) profile picture

I write humorous - at least to me - articles here: https://xitter.gq/t.co/IVsnFWB1tt If you feel I've earned a tip:

Vancouver, British Columbia
Joined January 2012
Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)Photo by Philip O'Reilly (@orphmi)
Happy Halloween. Remember, whatever happens tonight, they’re just kids.
1
1
5
235
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
1
14
359
My Instagram feed is 90% porn and 10% cat videos. What's with all the cat videos?
60
If you made even one child’s life better, your life mattered. Not as much as a rich person’s or somebody smart but at least a little bit.
5
170
Anaheim was 4 for 5 on the PP. Ottawa was - checks notes - 0 for 3. This includes another failed 5 on 3. A lot of people today are going to blame goaltending when specialty teams are killing us.
36
Question: why not just pretend you don’t have a PP? The fact that your up a man should just work out. Can’t do any worse anyway.
Ottawa's powerplay now ranks 29th in the league. 0/3 tonight including another 5-on-3. Anaheim went 4/5. #GoSensGo We're nearing the point of needing a coaching change for that unit. They did it with the penalty kill last season.
42
PP sucks. They might score more if they shot more.
2
147
Another 5 on 3. Can they finally score on one?
44
Receptionist just asked for my age. I said “68.” She said “1968?” “No, 2068, I’m from the future.”
1
24
381
Once again, if I want to watch the Sens play tonight, I will have to find a stream. What a stupid way to run a league.
37
Amazing how much was still m unexplored just before the space race.
How Europe exploded the world.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
The video inaccurately shows Finland and parts of North America as unmarked/unknown in its 1968 map frame, when detailed European maps included Finland by 1539 and world borders were fully mapped with known countries long before. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carta_mar… jesusiniesta.es/maps/historic-… science.nasa.gov/earth/earth-ob…
50
I went to the general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific. — Steven Wright
3
140
“Memories are the souvenirs of life” and like souvenirs, they bore other people and most of them are crap.
33
The greatest legacy is the difference you make for a child. Unless you can get a big building at an Ivy League school named after you. Oh, or a rock ballad. Those are cool too.
3
144
People will say “it’s as easy as stealing candy from a baby” but they never warn you how angry the parents will get.
5
140
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. — Ashleigh Brilliant
1
49
Time to pin something new to my profile.
My smart toilet called me in for a meeting this morning. Apparently, the fridge is trying to kill me. Or him. He’s unclear on which bothers him more. Link in reply 👇
40
Philip O'Reilly retweeted
My smart toilet called me in for a meeting this morning. Apparently, the fridge is trying to kill me. Or him. He’s unclear on which bothers him more. Link in reply 👇
1
1
1
4
372