Encouraging the beautiful lesbian at work to cheat on her dysgenic gf with me because I just can't take a relationship like that seriously lmao because first of all, who's supposed to be the guy? and second, y'all aren't gonna get married and live happily ever after haha that's for regular people so it's completely fine
imagine rivals hearing this news after watching Liverpool get locked the fuck up at home, I'd be sick lmao
JM retweeted
being a female must be easy, yall watch instagram, crash ya car, text 400 dudes and lie.
I think flirting is one of the greatest pleasures of being alive. A beautiful woman smiles at me, I say something charming, she laughs, and suddenly the world is good again. I don't even need her number. I just need that exact exchange to happen another fifteen times before dinner.
Work crush went on vacation for 3 weeks and came back kinda chubby and not the kind of wholesome chungus chubby that most of you are, like the abuela kind of chubby. This year has been brutal for me, man, but I keep pushing because eventually the Lord WILL provide. Amen.
