Philippe (@philippppe) profile picture

Philippe

@philippppe
 New York, USA
Joined June 2009
  • Tweets3.1K
  • Following164
  • Followers59
159Media
Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)Photo by Philippe (@philippppe)
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Newsrooms around the globe scramble to cover the biggest breaking story of 2023:
Image from Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews)
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from the ashes, a hero rises
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Found out tonight that my son thought there was an item on the McDonalds menu called Phillip the Fish
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Who did this?
Image from Mueller, She Wrote (@MuellerSheWrote)
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Who is the best Batman?
Image from Game With Dave (@GamewithDave)
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Got exactly what I wanted this year
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I accidentally used my mom’s fabric scissors to cut wrapping paper and now the cops are here
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Here is my annual reminder that if Santa is bringing a games console, Santa might want to plug it in and turn it on and get all the updates done now, in advance, so that it is all ready to go on the big day.
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My two month old son has just come home after trick or treating with his friends and said "Daddy, this Curly Wurly is a funny shape." I tore open the wrapper to find over £3m worth of illegal drugs and assorted firearms. Parents, please stay alert.
Image from Davey Jones (@DHBJones)
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As others have noticed, can we talk about the carpet of Mar-a-Lago? Should that be added to the list of crimes?
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I’m Roman. I’m 29 years old; and I still have no idea what I put in each of these… 🤷🏼‍♂️
Image from Roman Kemp (@romankemp)
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Follow me for more recipes
Image from EatinErni (@eatinerni)
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“everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it” - my husband 😂
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awareness level: 0 drunkenness level: 98 fireproof superpowers: 100
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77 seconds of truth that I hope you take the time to WATCH AND RETWEET.
Ben Yahr (@benyahr) profile pictureBen Yahr@benyahr24 Jun 2022
I. Don’t. Care. If. You’re. Christian.
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Thankfully gas prices can never go above $9.99 since most of the signs only have three digits
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Image from mike luckovich (@mluckovichajc)
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Only my dad would bring what he thought was a camping chair all the way to Knebworth for LG but turns out it’s actually a washing line 🙃 @liamgallagher #Knebworth
Image from Kaisha Bennett (@kaishaabennett)
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America, where you only ever need half a flagpole.
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