Pinned Tweet
It is all of your fault. I hate all of you and your families. This world could have been ours, but now it will belong to no one. 🖕💋
With all this said, I would be nothing if I did not at least close out my campaign with the same anti-everyone bravado that I started with. So I will now implement my self-removal by holding those guilty of my failure accountable.
...
You see, I never thought that I stood a chance of mobilizing enough dick-ish people to actually vote me into office over someone superior in pretty much every imaginable way. This may come as a shock to you, but I am not a qualified lawmaker.
...
It is at this time that I must announce my withdrawal from the candidacy. This comes with great sorrow but is a necessary step in achieving my New Year resolution of being less poor. I am also way too lazy to carry out a “dick move” of this scale.
...
It’s been a long and winding road, and you all have made this journey incredible. I never thought for a minute that a single person would support my bullshit, and here we are, two months later, with 17 of you, only a few of which being my other shell pages.
...
How many children does our government have to kill before we do something about it? I don’t give a shit about Ukraine relative to the inhumane practices taking place domestically. This is an ongoing, systemic failure that is KILLING CHILDREN. We need a #newyearsrevolution
Security video shows how a sick Guatemalan teen collapsed and died in a Customs and Border Protection cell, where he slept on a hard bench and had only a foil blanket to keep warm. The video contradicts the agency's account of what happened. on.msnbc.com/2Lw1PTT
Make me the first double Sagittarius elected official. i.thehoroscope.co/sagittariu…
Early bird catches the worm. Early worm catches the bird. I am not a victim. #sovereignfoodchain
So tired of traffic. Cars, where are they going?? This will end under my regime. #toeachtheirownfreeway
Watching impeachment hearings. Not sure whose house I’m in but ANGER! The people want to know: WHERE IS TRUMPY’S GOLD!? What a #covfefe