🇺🇸 Navy Veteran, pub quiz aficionado, consumer of cider, enjoyer of the occasional Nice Piece of Fish™.
Seattle
Joined January 2009
- Tweets802
- Following2.8K
- Followers216
- Likes15.5K
Cider John retweeted
"STOP USING AI!! USE REAL PHOTOS!!"
Screamed from a smartphone. On the internet. In 2026.
BRO.
Today I'm going to explain something very, very slowly, because apparently a few people in my replies haven't quite finished evolving.
WHOSE FUCKING PHOTOS?
Yours? Mine? Some photographer's work I'm supposed to grab off Google because your delicate little eyeballs can't handle AI?
I travel between Japan and America, writing stories from my own experiences, books, and research. AI helps polish my writing and create the illustrations. Almost every picture is AI.
That's it. I'm entertaining people, not laundering money for the fucking Colombian cartel.
When your posts regularly hit a MILLION impressions, copyright complaints arrive faster than mosquitoes at a naked barbecue. Takedowns. Lawsuit threats. You can praise a restaurant so much the owner wants to name his firstborn after you, and still get a legal complaint over the photograph.
But your brilliant philosophy is:
If I CREATE an image, I'm a fraud.
If I STEAL an image, I'm authentic.
HOLY SHIT. Did your frontal lobe come out with the placenta and get thrown in the medical waste bin?
And here's my favorite part. You're holding a $1,000 smartphone, surrounded by algorithms and AI, screaming that modern technology is unnatural.
MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, YOU'RE A CAVE PAINTING WITH A DATA PLAN.
Seriously, if civilization hurts your feelings that much, put down the phone. Drink from a well. Ride a donkey. Send your complaints by carrier pigeon.
No Wi-Fi. No AI. No GPS. Just you, a muddy cave, and a stick you can use to scratch "AI BAD" into the dirt while waiting for your frontal lobe to finish growing.
Hungry? Chew a tree. Lonely? Sniff a tree. Angry? Bang your head against a tree. Congratulations, you've invented the world's first completely organic, carbon-neutral customer support system.
When night falls, get down on all fours and howl at the moon until another genius answers.
OOH OOH! AH AH! 🐒
And if your pigeon returns with a copyright complaint, don't shoot the messenger. That fucking bird already understands intellectual property law better than you.
Now, to the normal people reading this, I love you guys. I fact-check my stories, I make mistakes, and I genuinely appreciate the corrections, memories, and personal experiences you share. I've learned a tremendous amount from you.
I'm not making deepfakes to destroy lives or scamming anyone. I'm writing stories and trying to make people smile.
But this is X, not a doctoral dissertation defense at Harvard. I'm posting a picture of a dog, not applying for FDA approval to transplant its fucking kidneys.
If you've got facts, bring them. I'll listen.
If all you've got is "AI BAD! ME ANGRY!" while drooling onto your iPhone, please understand that I don't operate a free kindergarten for adults who somehow missed 40,000 years of human civilization.
Follower? Blocked. Big account? Blocked. A million followers? Congratulations, you're the most influential caveman since someone discovered fire. Still blocked.
I don't care how famous you are. A verified checkmark isn't proof that your brain has passed a safety inspection.
Bless your little prehistoric heart.
Now take your smartphone, trade it for a rock, climb back into your cave, and write me a letter when you've discovered the alphabet.
And take your pigeon with you.
The last thing I need is that bird shitting in my replies while its owner explains the dangers of artificial intelligence.
OOH OOH.
BLOCKED. 🐒
🤖 Made with AI
Cider John retweeted
The prevailing view of so much of the young left in America is that we’re the worst country ever, so if someone attacks us, they can’t be all bad.
Cider John retweeted
The young imbeciles who think they want socialism should take a look at this. Socialism doesn’t mean that good quality things become less expensive, it means that everything turns to shit and you get an allotment/ration of that shit. Young people in particular have been made to believe that socialism means that luxury/nice things will suddenly become attainable. No. It means you handover your freedom and your potential for a guaranteed scrap. The catch is, sometimes even the scraps run out. Look at Cuba.
Cider John retweeted
Counterpoint: America Rules
In a nation of plummeting pride and MAGA hats, “patriotism just isn’t cool anymore,” Arthur Krystal writes. newyorker.com/magazine/2026/…
Cider John retweeted
Let's check the data 👇
Climate change is making a catastrophic collapse in food supplies through simultaneous failures in the world’s breadbaskets more likely than not, a new study concludes. Yet political leaders slumber on….
theconversation.com/what-hap…
Cider John retweeted
What do you think of Southwest Airlines new paint scheme?
I think it’s patriotic as hell!
I doubt I’ll be flying in one, but very cool!
Cider John retweeted
The talent in this group of young kids is amazing.❤️
I Cant Tell You Why - EaglesBand cover by The Graystones
Cider John retweeted
Ay caramba!!
As a longtime fan of The Simpsons, I can’t tell you how delighted I was to see that Matt Groening, the genius behind the franchise, had chosen to make me an honorary citizen of Springfield. I stumbled across this image online a few weeks ago, and though it doesn't exactly resemble me, I could scarcely contain my amusement.
"Look," I told my friends. "Matt Groening drew me!"
Part of the reason I was so flattered, is because I really am a fan. I was watching in 1987, when Homer first appeared on The Tracey Ullman Show, and I was watching three years after that when the series premiered on @Fox, and I’m still watching today, thirty-six later. In fact, during my @QVC days, in the shows first season, friends would gather every Sunday night at the mansion where I lived as a caretaker, and watch @TheSimpsons while helping me deplete the wine cellar, which was also left in my care. Those were the days…
Mostly though, I was flattered because I've never met Matt. And now, to think that a man I've never met but so admire was sitting in his home, watching me crawl through sewers and dangle from bridges and castrate lambs with my teeth - at the height of his own career - that’s gratifying in ways difficult to describe. And the fact that he would ensconce my visage under glass – in what appears to formaldehyde – it’s just perfect!
I know it's silly, but stumbling across proof that one of America’s true comedic geniuses not only knows who I am, but admires me enough to draw me, has affected my mood in the most positive way, for the better part of three weeks now. In fact, I was just about to replace my current profile picture with Matt's handiwork, when I discovered that Matt Groening has worked for years with a man who looks a lot like the gentleman under the glass. A dear friend, apparently, with the same likeness on his IMDB page.
Another man, named Mike Rowe.
imdb.com/name/nm0746573/
So…never mind.
Cider John retweeted
Dear Members of the @PulitzerPrizes board,
My name is Emily Damari. I was held hostage in Gaza for over 500 days.
On the morning of October 7, I was at home in my small studio apartment in Kibbutz Kfar Aza when Hamas terrorists burst in, shot me and dragged me across the border into Gaza. I was one of 251 men, women, children, and elderly people kidnapped that day from their beds, their homes, and a music festival.
For almost 500 days I lived in terror. I was starved, abused, and treated like I was less than human. I watched friends suffer. I watched hope dim. And even now, after returning home, I carry that darkness with me - because my best friends, Gali and Ziv Berman are still being held in the Hamas terror tunnels.
So imagine my shock and pain when I saw that you awarded a Pulitzer Prize to Mosab Abu Toha.
This is a man who, in January, questioned the very fact of my captivity. He posted about me on Facebook and asked, “How on earth is this girl called a hostage?” He has denied the murder of the Bibas family. He has questioned whether Agam Berger was truly a hostage. These are not word games - they are outright denials of documented atrocities.
You claim to honor journalism that upholds truth, democracy, and human dignity. And yet you have chosen to elevate a voice that denies truth, erases victims, and desecrates the memory of the murdered.
Do you not see what this means? Mosab Abu Toha is not a courageous writer. He is the modern-day equivalent of a Holocaust denier. And by honoring him, you have joined him in the shadows of denial.
This is not a question of politics. This is a question of humanity. And today, you have failed it.
Cider John retweeted
This 'Stalin' video is only a portion of an entire Russian Revolution video.
I cannot strongly enough recommend @flapprdotnet's "Russian Revolution: Diesel Edition" youtube.com/watch?v=F0m6uKwo…
Their similar videos on the Chinese and French revolutions are equally brilliant.
