Rusty Featherstone

It’s hard to hate from outside the club when you can’t even get in…

Oh great, Trump just said if he wins he’s going to make eye contact missionary a felony

Pull up to my place we’re all wearing backwards hats

Got kicked out of the bar for calling too many girls “your grace” and kissing all their rings

Telling the hotel valet to keep it running and then going to bed for the night

I wish Upside Down by Jack Johnson was 30 minutes long

This pee has been going so long I’m worried people thing it’s a quick poop

If I’m drinking and I can see my reflection you’re have 0% of my attention

Thinking about texting her a meme to break the ice

Pulled into her house with the drum solo from Phil Collins’ in the air tonight playing (She knows I mean business)

Dibs on being the most scared and paranoid tonight

Left class 7 minutes ago. They’re probably all talking about how I’m definitely pooping rn.

Giving up small titty goth girls for lent… just kidding can you imagine?

You guys eat your chipotle left to right or right to left?

I think those 3 bottles of wine went bad I don’t feel so well

The ball’s been in her court for a couple years now

New shirt!