Dickiv

Honestly @CanYouPetTheDog is the best though. Like, thank you for your service.

Mom to me: "You were born exactly on your due date it was the best pregnancy I had." Sister: "Do you here that David. Your the only one who can ACTUALLY enjoy your birthday because all of us gave mom painful pregnancies."

When I am confused about what is going on and what we are doing. Me: "Wait, what's happening?!?" Cousin: "It's okay, calm down you concerned little trapeze man."

My drunk introvert friend explaining how they felt having to hangout with a friend they haven't seen in awhile. "Felt like I was sitting there with a lollipop stuck up my ass."

"You gotta feel things and feel how they feel David." - @juliogts17

"I wish I could call out of work to go to Tim's Final Campain results party tonight."-D "Yeah but your boss is a doodoo carcass."-J

"My favorite color is orange because it's the color of the light inside telling me not to give up." -My 9yr niece Kaylee ❤

My version of taking care of myself after drinking consists of eating a hot dog and drinking a glass of water at 1 A.M. Trying to avoid the hangover that is already happening. I am such a good adult though. 🙂👎

I know it's wrong but sometimes I get so mad at cis people. Like they don't even know how easy they have it. #oops #immad #sorry

So I am officially the best at saying something I am not probably gonna do. But I am kinda a wildcard. So I MIGHT actually fucking stream soon. w/ @juliogts17 just look out for it possibly.

So it's going to be a bit later cause we decided to smoke some maryjane. @juliogts17 is making it so hard to tweet right now anyways looking like 10:30 PM. Bring your eyepatch and a bottle of rum.

Streaming Sea of Thieves w/ @juliogts17 around 9pm est. Tonight! We have a full bottle of rum and we are looking for any fellow pirates and thieves to join in. Check out @ these two streams Twitch.tv/juliogts17 & Twitch.tv/dickiv

Step into the shower all lost in thought and step out as an emotional raisin.

Blaze it!

Them: What are you doing? Me: *Playing Call of Duty 3*