I'm a satirist, a humorist, and the world's funniest redfish. I write for the https://xitter.gq/t.co/YzOksGDnOw & The https://xitter.gq/t.co/YsJb6MCDCQ. Follow me, I follow back.
California, USA
Joined March 2018
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Scientists just found a new dinosaur in California. It's the size of a border collie, and the county says it can't stay without an Environmental Impact Report. 100 million years and still no permit. #California #Dinosaurs #RedTape #Jurassic #Paleontology #Satire
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California activists want to strap AK-47s to mule deer to "give the animals a fighting chance." The NRA says the Founders never said deer couldn't. #NRA #2A #SecondAmendment #DeerHunting #PETA #Satire
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California woman goes into Ross to look at shoes. Leaves with a chrome skull, quart-sized martini glasses and a 40-oz tumbler that says "Stanly." No shoes. #Ross #Stanley #StanleyCup #California #RetailTherapy #Satire
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BREAKING: The DOJ found 10 illegal voters in a California county. 7 of them live in IDAHO. 1 doesn't exist. 2 are citizens. The feds say this proves it's worse than they thought. #ElectionIntegrity #VoterFraud #Idaho #California #DOJ #Satire
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A California Target is building its own Trader Joe's inside the store. Trader Joe's found out from a phone call about basket colors. #TraderJoes #Target #California #ShopLocal
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STUDY: 19 MILLION of the new Democrat votes were cast by REPUBLICANS. Record turnout for Trump, and almost all of it went to the D column. The polls weren't wrong. #ElectionIntegrity #Trump #MAGA #Midterms2026 #StopTheSteal #RiggedElection
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61,288 missing Trump ballots FOUND across West Texas. A Chipotle walk-in. An AI data center fence. A rental car trunk. Nolan County only cast 4,611. Somebody explain that. #StopTheSteal #ElectionIntegrity #Trump #MAGA #Texas #RiggedElection
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4,609 people in one Texas county voted Trump. The county counted ZERO of them. The only 2 ballots that counted belonged to the town's 2 Democrats, who now hold every county office. #Texas #ElectionIntegrity #StopTheSteal #Trump #MAGA #Midterms2026
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Trump spent the hurricane screaming at the sky from the 18th green. His sons and Stephen Miller locked the clubhouse doors "for his own good." He missed an 8-footer and yelled RIGGED. Lightning hit the pin 4 seconds later. #Trump #StephenMiller #MAGA #Hurricane #Golf #Satire
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Elon Musk is suing a 15-year-old for $150 million for calling X "Twitter." The kid's tweet: "I know it's 'X' now. It's been three years. I don't care." His town is throwing a festival. It's still Twitter.
#ElonMusk #Twitter #StillTwitter #FreeSpeech #Tesla #Satire
