Candy 🍁🍂🎃🦇👻🥧

You found me like the tide finds a hidden cove.

I just embarrassed my nephew 😂 his friends were leaving with him and I said “do not make me come get you at 2am and also wrap it up.” His friends were like “he won’t drink or do that ma’am.” I said “sure sure that’s the same lie I used to tell!”

Ready for the kids

I wasn't going to make that much food for Halloween dinner. However, I was just informed that my nephew is bringing teenage friends. Fuck.

So this is a chocolate espresso cake with white choc vanilla frosting and raspberry “blood” and I’m calling it massacre face cake because I fucked it all up 😂

Usually I decorate for Christmas Nov 1, because my fall stuff is up Sept 1, & I am usually in Oregon for Thanksgiving. This year I'm doing it here, and I can't not have out the turkeys and pumpkins. So, I'm putting the tree up but not switching the rest until after. Compromise.

My demons and I are coordinating costumes this year.

Hey baby, you wanna be the reason my protective crystals have to work overtime?

Judging by your life choices, some of ya'll already got the trick and the treat.

My broom broke. Now I gotta ride pure spite.

This morning the scariest thing that ever happened to me on Halloween had me in a panic. I saw my bank account. AAAAHHHH!

I'm not saying I'm a witch, but people who annoy me tend to have a really weird day.

Up early so I can make a Halloween cake for kids yay.

Don’t mind this old woman sitting with her Jack skellington onesie and coffee 😂

Hey kids, there was once a time back in the nineteen hundred and nineties when you could pull up next to someone at a red light and ask if they had mustard.

Spiders get one more day, then they are no longer decorations and must vacate.

Sure, sex is great but have you ever voted a Republican out of office? Orgasmic on another level.

Halloween eve marathon

Fuck. Like I needed a new addiction, but loaded teas are amazeballs. Fuckin family got me hooked on this shit.