Your daily dose of low-stakes drama, overheard nonsense, and neighborhood chaos. DM your petty submissions. đż
New York, USA
Joined December 2019
- Tweets17.6K
- Following4.9K
- Followers6.7K
- Likes3.2K
While weâre giving ordinary words a LinkedIn promotion, I have some nominations:
Unemployed: Independent Leisure Strategist.
Nosy auntie: Director of Unsolicited Family Intelligence.
Gossip: Unlicensed Public Relations Consultant.
Freeloader: Strategic Resource Acquisition Partner.
Deadbeat dad: Remote Biological Contributor.
Micromanager: Executive Director of âJust Checking.â
Liar: Alternative Reality Copywriter.
Cheater: Non-Exclusive Relationship Expansion Specialist.
Procrastinator: Deadline-Based Adrenaline Consultant.
Always late: Chronological Independence Advocate.
Overthinker: Director of Hypothetical Disaster Forecasting.
Person who says âwe should catch upâ and never does: Head of Imaginary Partnerships.
Man who calls parenting âbabysittingâ: Visiting Fellow in His Own Household.
Person who leaves one spoonful in the pot to avoid washing it: Director of Residual Asset Protection.
Woman doing everything while everyone suggests she practise self-care: Chief Executive Officer of Apparently Nobody Else Lives Here.
Please update your résumés. The salary remains insulting.
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Harvard Business Review is now analysing Jensen Huangâs affair.
Imagine cheating and becoming assigned reading.
Most men get âwe need to talk.â This man got learning objectives.
#JensenHuang #alicehuang
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Nima Momeni has been sentenced to 16 years to life for murdering Cash App founder Bob Lee. The two knew each other.
Remember when Elon Musk and the internet practically put the whole of San Francisco on trial?
Remarkable how âwait for the factsâ became an unreasonable request from people who wonât buy a toaster without reading 400 reviews.
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Kiara says Karan Johar threw Shahid Kapoor off the stage at her wedding.
Imagine booking a palace, marrying Sidharth Malhotra, and discovering the main character is still Karan.
At my wedding heâd be seated under âdietary requirementsâ because apparently he needs all the attention.
#KaranJohar #KiaraAdvani #SidharthMalhotra
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Nick Cannon put the mothers of his children in a group chat and discovered it was a bad idea.
Six women comparing notes in real time.
He built his own congressional hearing and enabled notifications.
#nickcannon
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Bought an index fund so I wouldnât have to keep track of individual companies.
Now Iâm following Jensen Huangâs marriage like my retirement depends on it.
My portfolio is diversified across stocks, bonds and one manâs ability to go straight home after dinner.
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Looking for a live performer - band or singer to play in Norcal to a live festival audience on Saturday May 2. DM if you are or know someone who performs.
The moment in #TheFirstFrost when #sangzhi returns #SangYan âs college picture album full of #duanjaishuâs pictures. Sang Yan has no clue!!
Dr He is making Traditional Chinese Medicine so sexy ! Loving the colors and feel of this love story between #zhangLinghe and #XuRuohan #thebestthing on @WeTVOfficial
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Hectic watching season :
1. #TheBestThing - #zhanglinghe #XuRuoHan
2. #TheFirstFrost - #BaiJingting #zhangrounan
3. #Filter #LiLandi #TanJianci
4. #UndercoverHighSchool #SeoKangJoon
5. #theWitch #rohjeongeui #parkjinyoung
6. #BuriedHearts #HongHwayeon #parkhyunsik
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Mission Impossible - The Final Reckoning is here with #TomCruise
Our lives are the sum of our choices. Mission: Impossible â The Final Reckoning. See you at the movies May 23, 2025.
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Current aggregate data of over a dozen polling outlets shows Kamala Harris and Trump either tied or too close to call
realclearpolling.com/polls/pâŠ
Leaked emails show Rasmussen works with the Trump campaign
newrepublic.com/post/186444/âŠ
Rasmussen has been dropped by 538 due to bias and inaccuracy:
washingtonpost.com/politics/âŠ
sj-r.com/story/news/columns/âŠ
BREAKING: Rasmussenâs head pollster, Mark Mitchell, suggests Trump is poised to secure a landslide victory that could resemble Ronald Reaganâs historic landslide win over Jimmy Carter in 1980.
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As recent as Oct. 31, Michael Jordan hadn't endorsed either Trump or Harris
basketballnetwork.net/latestâŠ
Michael Jordan has been neutral in the past. He once said "I never thought of myself as an activist. I thought of myself as a basketball player.â
dailysignal.com/2024/09/13/dâŠ
This quoted post is unavailable.
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This does not show that a republican victory is likely. It simply shows that people are voting early. What Musk is doing is help prepare the big lie. He is conditioning Republican voters to expect victory so that when they lose Trump can claim that the election was stolen.
latimes.com/world-nation/stoâŠ
Pennsylvania is on track for a major Republican victory.
The gap between 2024 and 2020 is now over 600k, which almost 10% of the entire electorate!
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If you donât know how to write , stop reporting
#LIVE: Ahead of the US election 2024, Republican presidential nominee @realDonaldTrump on Saturday (November 2, 2024) used one of his nearly a dozen rallies during the raceâs final weekend sprint focusing on crime and immigration. xitter.gq/i/broadcasts/1BdGYEWgzâŠ
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