tylermarkwright

I DESPERATELY want HBO to acquire the rights to Mindhunter somehow.

James Cameron, please, the human bladder is not designed to withstand movies with greater than 3 hour runtime.

I care about these lists way more than I should, and I know it’s produced by a team. It’s the adult equivalent of believing pro wrestling isn’t staged.

Soccer should have a rule that if you’re down on the ground trying to draw a penalty, if you’re down for more than 10 seconds you’re considered injured and have to come off the field until you’re able to be subbed back in.

Sad that as a nurse, I’d rather watch 19 seasons of mfs in a hospital, than spend 19 seasons in a hospital.

This is me packing pillows all around me to form the perfect sleep pit.

If you’re a dog and I call you buddy: highest compliment. If you’re a person and I call you buddy: biggest insult. I don’t make the rules.

Dads will be like “I can’t keep up with those Marvel movies, there is so many of them” and then read 35 John Grisham, 40 Tom Clancy, and 52 James Patterson novels.

I’m convinced work orientations are purposefully boring so that you’re excited to start working, because it at least breaks up the monotony of being talked at for 8 hours straight.

Quote tweeting this to announce that I passed the NCLEX yesterday. @tylermarkwright , RN baybeeee

Sup

Bye 👋🏼 @JennGodin

This bearded goat loves the Yard Goats! #nogoatsnoglory

Poor bullpen guys. There’s a real “now what” feeling when you’re the last to arrive to a bench clearing.