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Van

@van_comedy

Finding the funny. Roll with me and “I’ll give you a ride”. 👈😆🤳🚐 🇦🇺 🛸 Lots of original untested content.

 Melbourne, Australia
Joined August 2019
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Van@van_comedy20 Feb 2020
Replying to @engineeringvids
Here’s what you must do if your on a motorcycle
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After sharing daily comedy clips throughout June, I'm so excited to finally share my full 45-minute stand-up comedy special! 🎉 If you've been enjoying my Shorts, I'd love for you to watch the full show. ▶️ Watch here: youtube.com/watch?v=_lbI_-PA… I hope it makes you laugh. ❤️ #StandUpComedy #ComedySpecial #YumiNagashima #Comedy #YouTube
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When people say I didn’t sleep a wink, it's like they're using winks as a unit of measurement for sleep deprivation.
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I think a great name for a train would be The Spectrum.
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✈️ Virgin Airways the only one touching down on Indonesia’s landing strip
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I told my blind friend you’ll find the love of your life when you’re not really looking.
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A rubbish tip is just a graveyard for all your unwanted things
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People are always complaining about there chip packets, there cereal boxes etc being half empty. Do you reckon I could get away with selling half full bottles of port and naming it Airport.
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When I’m about to finish I tell her “this is gonna sound nutty”.
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I know a guy with 3 left & 3 right feet who struggles to meet woman. He tells me women want men that are 6 foot tall & not 6 feet wide.
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A lot of people call me crazy because I’m about to start a nut company called Sounds Nuts
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Using TikTok is like moving to a new city or school. It’s exciting, scary and you realise there’s just as many flogs as every other platform.
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Someone win this tennis match already and let me goto Bedvedev! @AustralianOpen
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How does Drake make a zinger box? He puts hot sauce in his used condoms.
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If I tattooed my eyelids black, would that help me get a better sleep in?
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Just had a baby piss on me and everyone says, “don’t worry it’s just baby pee”. Yeah but it’s in my mouth!
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I’ve moved on from being a conspiracy theorist! I’ve now taken the role as a fortuneteller.
Image from Van (@van_comedy)
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I visited a new pizza shop that told me they’ve all sorts of pizza. I said alrightyroo I’ll try that new trending licorice pizza.
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My car is covered in cobwebs! Not sure if I should keep telling people it’s for Halloween 🎃🕸 & I enjoy the company or that it’s the only thing holding my car together!
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How did the riot police get to work on time? By beating the crowd.
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I just installed a new lock on my front door at ankle height. Because I want to stay low key.
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