My life is my dad joke. Be kind to yourself! If you can't, learn to by being kind to others. "Quotes" are AI. https://xitter.gq/t.co/sRnfgik4c6, https://xitter.gq/t.co/j2L57k5J6X, https://xitter.gq/t.co/hijoNOkrpf, & https://xitter.gq/t.co/pzlPK8sqrU
Kennewick, WA
Joined January 2024
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Imagine everything you do as a conduit for love
Your turn signal? Love
Buying a latte? Love
Taking a meeting? Love
There are so many hearts we can touch, directly, or through the love and care we put right into what we do
What if you were on the lookout for smuggling routes?
Wow! We’re getting there…
xitter.gq/workflowsauce/status/1…
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In @jonnym1ller's Nervous System Mastery, we did an emotional fluidity exercise, reflecting on somatic experiences connected to emotional situations. I got paired up with a fellow who shared a joyful moment, and it gave me a huge insight.
Hearing his description of the joyful situation opened me up, and I felt some joy in that moment. I noticed right then that joy feels vulnerable to me. I had been clenched all morning, feeling like I had a lot to do and I needed to stay focused so as to not drop any balls. Joy does feels great, but it also feels way more open and that openness feels significantly more vulnerable than clenching.
It seems I have a habit of clenching and trying to “earn” joy, as if I need to create circumstances that are “safe” to feel joy. It’s like I need to manage and keep negativity and threats at bay, before it’s safe to let myself feel joyful and light.
It’s clear to me where this comes from: there have been so many times in my life—usually with friends, lovers, and family—in which my openness and joy have been swept out from under me. Maybe they’re suffering and seeing it brings me down, or they’re just not receptive to me and my joy, or there’s some conflict or emergency that seems to require me to clamp down and focus…
The result is that joy feels extra vulnerable. It feels like the second I feel it, it can be taken from me by people or circumstances.
Huh!
Gratitude is a wonderful portal.
But to truly feel gratitude, to really let it in, you have to internalize the receiving.
For instance, I felt grateful for something an ex did for me. I wanted to tell her thank you, to express how significant that was to me. I realized thanking her would be appropriate, for sure, but it was also a subtle way for me to offload the experience. To short-circuit the feeling of gratitude by tossing it to her.
I sat with the feeling and realized I had received this kind act as a larger than life thing, as if it was some rare event that I was lucky to experience. In my life, it was! I hadn't been treated this way often, and when I had, it was never delivered in such a graceful, natural way. It blew my mind how well I received that loving care, and how effortless and natural it seemed for her to give it!
Still, sitting with that experience and deeply welcoming the feeling it produced, in gratitude, enabled me to internalize it. I arrived at a place where I felt that treatment was appropriate and normal, and that I should expect that in any loving relationship. It depedestalized the experience for me.
I am still grateful. It was a lovely action, and it represents a big turning point for me. But I stepped through the portal. If someone professes to love me and they can't do that for me, it's a gentle no for me. That's the gift of gratitude. It will grow you, if you let it.
Made it through another round. Peeling back the layers like a giant scrolling through sedimentary strata, I feel content to do this for as long and as many times as it takes. If it never ends, I'll never stop.
And if it does... 😌
What do you do with the terror that you feel? The overwhelm? The totality?
It sure is a lot!
youtube.com/watch?v=UF5ZTeFd…
How do I not get offended by what other people choose to believe? If they’re people I care(d) about? It’s dawning on me that I should be way more selective about who I invest in. Choosing someone with an incompatible or irreconcilable worldview feels like a phenomenal self-betrayal, especially if they show zero indication that they can hold space for mine.
How would I react if my daughter came to me, heartbroken because her boyfriend revealed that he had an entirely uncharitable perspective on her and on their relationship, perhaps an entitled view that cast her in a horrible role that she never asked for?
I’d feel angry and sad, and I would tell her that I love her and that this reflects more on him than her, that we all struggle to judge people accurately, but it is something we can learn and get better at, and that I’m here for her, even while she feels devastated and works to slowly find her footing again.
I suppose I can take that approach towards myself. The anger in me makes me want to lash out and retaliate, to tear these people down a bit, to knock them off their high, self-assured horses, to get them to acknowledge that they might be partially or even largely wrong. As much as I’d love to do that, that would betray my values. I don’t want them hurt or suffering, I don’t want to scar them with self-doubt. I can only quietly register my protest before I release them into the world, hopefully to learn and grow, and become the people I wish I had met when I met them, the people I tried to treat them as, when I took everything they said seriously and with care, even when it didn’t make sense or seem accurate to me.
I’m left with a sick, bitter feeling in the pit of my chest, nowhere to put the poison I’ve made myself swallow, in the hopes that it might make their difficult paths just a little bit easier. I can metabolize it. But doing so alone, after being made into a villain of sorts, is crazymaking.
I can only win back my own trust by saying never again. By promising myself, every time the bile bubbles in my stomach, “I will never again abide in lies for the sake of love, connection, or care.” It has never worked, not since I was a child, and not now that I am entirely grown.
I will change. I am changed.
God help those who might test me.
Also by ChatGPT, in the "Little Founders" series, where classic nursery rhymes secretly teach business principles:
The Three Little Startups
Building sustainable businesses, competitive moats, and surviving the Big Bad Wolf of competition.
The Goose That Laid the Golden ARR
Recurring revenue, customer retention, and why keeping customers matters.
Joshua 💫 retweeted
I often found more value in the cot than the answer.
It's part of the reason why I started working on a particular tool I've begun calling Clew.
What does it look like to go from an insight/question, to the answer?
That "trace of thought" is undervalued in society.
Thanks again to the partners, friends, and acquaintances who so gracefully show me what's in my shadow, just by being themselves.
It makes the work that much easier. Bless you all. 🙏🏼
I like the idea behind “coherence,” but I don’t like the word much.
To me, the idea is about letting things flow in a stable and propagating way. It makes me think of a swing or a spring and how applying force in a way that aligns with the resonant frequency of the moving parts.
I feel that same way about the flow of life. The “answer” isn’t all force or all surrender, or even some fixed amount or force strategy. The “answer,” if there is one, is to train oneself on the natural resonance frequencies of the systems in which we’re embedded, and apply forces that match those frequencies.
It raises the question, “what makes this hard?” Well, I think there are resonant frequencies within us, too, and when those get out of whack, they can take a long time to stabilize. That reminds me of parametric resonance, a separate idea illustrated by a pendulum with a spring on it. These things seem to have a mind of their own, oscillating between bouncing and swinging with a subtle rhythm.
Isn’t that like us, too?
Couple a system like that with an arhythmic outside force, and surely the behavior is going to appear strange and inconsistent. Imagine coupling two of these systems together! The behavior would be functionally unpredictable!
I guess my toxic trait is imagining that we could model people as pendulums and springs. At least, this view of human complexity helps me hold my own oscillations with more grace. 😅
youtube.com/watch?v=5JbpcsH8…
youtube.com/watch?v=MUJmKl7Q…
Fascinating specimen
Discourse Map
prolifica.app/i/hawumy7azy
Anatomy Map
prolifica.app/i/4tesvhoob6
She groomed and raped a 14 year old kid she met as his therapist in a juvenile detention center, and continued to bang him until he was 17.
We talk about the 50-100 teachers who make the news each year. But there are 1000’s of women in other professions or who just happen to live in the neighborhood raping teens too. And no one will ever know about them.
Joshua 💫 retweeted
don’t lose anything of value when valuing your true life experience~ it’s all you really “have”. You lose everything allowing society in whatever form to convince you otherwise.