Yoav Tchelet

Average order value is a few big orders and a lot of small ones, averaged into an order nobody placed. The median is the one that turns up on a Tuesday.

If you're going to copy a competitor, at least add some originality. Don't paste large chunks of their brand, make it look like you actually tried.

Give twenty identical ads 2,000 clicks each. The month's best averages 3.73% and the worst 2.31%. Next month both average 3.00%, because they were the same ad all along. A fair amount of what gets called creative fatigue is this.

you can setup and operate a skunkworks lab with around 10x people, implement a significant transformation, rebuild of digital infrastructure and experience at a fraction of the cost invested.

Could both Manchester clubs not be in the premier league next season?

A marketing ghost story for Halloween week. Most stacks have one automation from 2019 that nobody admits to building. Switch it off and the finance dashboard goes blank the next morning.

Engagement is everyone's favourite board metric. It goes up when customers love you and when they're furious with you, which makes it the only KPI with 100% uptime.

Bug report Expected: campaign drives sales Actual: campaign drives "conversation" Workaround: objective renamed to awareness Status: closed, working as intended

Most companies' single source of truth is three dashboards showing three different numbers, plus a fourth that someone built to settle it. It shows a fourth number.

Adobe expects AI-assistant traffic to US retail sites to rise 130% this holiday season. Those are people clicking links for now. Agents are coming, and an agent reads your returns policy more carefully than any human ever has. Worth a proofread.

Went through a year of bank brand launches, here and overseas. The language barely changes between banks: partner, journey, moment, more than. I've written a few of those lines myself. What customers remember seems to come down to the app and which team the logo's on.

Engineers spent twenty years learning that the best code is the code you never wrote. I've yet to see anyone put less content in a marketing plan, and I've written a few.

CircleCI: daily CI workflow runs up 59% in a year, the biggest jump it's recorded. For the median team, throughput on the branch that ships fell 7%. Marketing is running the same experiment with AI content. Its main branch is whoever signs things off.

Google's people-first content guidance now says, in writing, that fake author profiles with AI headshots or made-up names are deception. Thoughts with Jane, Senior Content Strategist, 640 articles since March, who's never once blinked.

Ran an A/B test once on a page that got 400 visits a month. The green button won. I'm 95% confident, in the sense that I'd love it to have won.

Marketing's version of "works on my machine" is "works in the deck". Same confident face, usually about a week before the launch numbers come in.

Since 1 October, Google charges Local Services advertisers for business-hours calls nobody answers, once the caller has waited more than 20 seconds. It's a service level agreement with the credits flowing the wrong way.

Moving from engineering into marketing cost me the definition of done. These days a thing is done when nobody's replied to the email thread for 48 hours.

OpenAI's pitch for ChatGPT ads came with three proof points. One was a statistically significant lift result. The other two were an attributed CPA and a 93% new-visitor share. One causal number in three still beats most launch decks I've presented.