Gradientz

i know several people in their mid 30s that got one-shotted by nomading and are starting to be really depressed about it here's the problems they are facing: > a lot of them would actually love to start a family > EVERYONE Is single though, often for years or even decades of situationships > optionality both human wise (relationships etc) and location wise has made it impossible to commit to anything > there's a constant feeling of the grass might be greener (leading to no grass at all!) > all of them moved around multiple times a year for 10-20 years > all of the nomad places (bali, KPG etc) are dominated by people who are there only for a couple of week/months a year > a lot of my friends have a lot of people they "know" but almost 0 true friends (because friendships actually need a lot of time spent together) > and because all of their friends are also nomads, everyone is always on the go so it's incredibly hard to build depth in any relationship > most of these "friendships" feel very intense in the moment but amount to 0 over a couple of years because you simply never see most people > if you want to start a family, when you're hitting mid 30s it suddenly gets real that you might miss that traind entirely (some of them are starting to be really depressed about this) > this is more true for women, but let's face it most 30-35 yo woman also don't want someone in their 50s or 60s so the window is also closing rapidly for the men > most of the nomad lifestyle is also antioptimized to be family friendly > you could say that being a nomad longterm really is anti-optimizing to make starting a family more likely > most nomad places are also predominantly inhabited by people in their 20 or early 30, once you outgrow these cohorts a mismatch starts to happen (people either become manchilds or start feeling totally disconnected) > btw, it's TOTALLY fine not wanting to start a family or have roots at one place. all i'm saying is many of these peopel thought so too in their mid 20s but then missed to adjust their lifestyle to what they really wanted: deep friendships, roots and eventually a family > let's be realistic, a lot of relationships go to waste so even if you're "only" 30, that's basically just 1-2 relationships go wrong before your become infertile (as we women). it happens fast as fuck! also you don't want to start a family with someone you just met, so you also need to include at least 1-2 years of living together before you make such a decision > friendships & relationships are assets that compound over time and it's very very hard for most nomad to actually get to that point. i'm not saying it's impossible but it's just what i'm seeing with people I know > I think a great solution is to take some of your nomad friends and actually start a co-living project like @levelsio does. > it's totally anecdotal, but I just wanted to remind everyone to rethink if you're lifestyle is actually aligned with your long term goals. and no, you don't have all the time in the world. things take time. use it wisely. btw. I also traveled a lot (and still do by most people's standards)! i totally get why people love this lifestyle. but it's so important to understand the downside too