प्रशांत भारती

Arranged marriage in India is heading towards a serious long term crisis. And I think we’re only seeing the beginning of it. Talk to men, and you’ll understand their fears. Talk to women, and you’ll understand theirs. The uncomfortable part? Both sides have valid points. From a man’s perspective, finding the right partner is becoming increasingly difficult. He’s expected to be financially stable, ambitious, emotionally mature, responsible, well-settled and ready to provide a certain lifestyle. Nothing wrong with these expectations individually. But many men feel that their own expectations of companionship, loyalty, respect and mutual effort are treated as secondary. Some fear being valued more for their salary, package, property or family background than for who they are. Others worry that even after years of commitment, one disagreement or a failed marriage could cost them financially, emotionally and socially. Women have their own set of fears. They worry about compatibility, controlling families, losing independence, unequal household responsibilities, dowry expectations, emotional neglect and being trapped in an unhappy marriage. These concerns are real too. The bigger problem is that both sides are entering marriage negotiations with a defence mechanism instead of an open mind. Every conversation feels like an interview now. Every expectation feels like a potential red flag. Every compromise feels like a possible future regret. And social media is making it worse. Extreme stories become generalisations. Someone else’s failed marriage becomes a warning about an entire gender. People start looking for reasons not to trust each other before they’ve even had a chance to build trust. Finding the right girl is becoming difficult for many men not because good women don’t exist, but because genuine compatibility is getting buried under an endless checklist of expectations, financial calculations, family demands and fear of being exploited. The same is true for women looking for a good man. A successful marriage cannot be built on the question, “What am I getting out of this?” alone. It also requires asking, “What are we willing to build together?” Not every expectation is unreasonable. Not every compromise is healthy. And nobody should be forced to settle for a partner who isn’t right for them. But if both sides want all the benefits of marriage without accepting any responsibility, discomfort or adjustment, what exactly are we expecting marriage to become? If this continues, the arranged marriage system won’t collapse because people stop wanting love. It will struggle because fewer people will be willing to trust each other enough to build it. #Marriage #Love #Lifestyle