:: hi babes! I know itβs been a while. Mentally I was in one of the darkest places Iβve been in for a while but Iβm getting a little better and Iβll be around to write! I missed you all.
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:: Iβm still around I promise, Iβm just busy figuring out stuff with medical school applications and whatnot
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βso easy that it felt almost like second hand nature. i wonder if it wouldβve been that easy back before all this. if we are all secretly killers.β
that was the thing about tess. she had crossed that moral boundary so easily that it was almost terrifying. hell, half of boston knew not to cross her.
βi once thought iβd never take a life. iβd only do the infected. but somewhere along the way, it snapped. it was easy,β
β
β ... β Joel understood that , he was a quiet hardworking man who barely spoke to anyone other than Sarah and Tommy , not much as changed but - β Did you ... Do you ever get surprised at how - quickly you turned into a killer ? I don't just mean infected , we've all done horrible shit to them , but I mean people , one mornin ' you're havin ' a coffee with the mornin ' paper and then the next you've killed a group so you can get their car. β
β
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tess had let herself smile at the girl as she sat across from her, feeling as though this is what it was like. to be a mother with a teen daughter. to eat dinner with your teen daughter. as if the world didnβt decay around them.
βi found you a new constellation graphicβ
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sheβs rolling her eyes at the girl, as if scolding her for asking yet another time. as if tess would tell.
βcome on, look,β she had pointed to the girl. it was an old museum dedicated to the history of comic books. she had toured once when she was younger.
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βi was trynna find something,β she rolled her eyes in an amused way, letting out a small laugh now that the startle was over.
βdid you find anythinβ?β
his eyes widened a little at her reaction , a small chuckle just leaving his lips . shrugging his shoulders slightly . β sorry βbout that , tess . didnβt think you were that concentrated . but shouldβve known .β
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:: hello loves! I was on a trip this weekend but Iβm back and shall reply within the coming days <3 hope youβre all okay
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:: hi everyone, Iβve hit a really rough mental patch so I apologies for the lack of replies <3
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Replying to @BostonSmuggler @SHESlMMUNE
βgrabs ellie into her arms, gently holding her in a motherβs embrace, one that comes naturally to those with children. ellie had been so strong, but she had needed someone to comfort her.
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Replying to @BostonSmuggler @SHESlMMUNE
βhe wouldβve done exactly as i wouldβve,β because she and joel were two sides of the same coin. parents who had lost their children. parents who knew what it was like to be willing to sacrifice everything so that their children may live.
thereβs a heartbeat, and tessβ
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Replying to @BostonSmuggler @SHESlMMUNE
βthe warmth and the protection that they had orbited around.
βit is not your fault. do you understand me? joel knew that one day he would die this way,β for his own actions and for tessβs actions. they had dug their own graves so long ago.
βnone of this is your fault.β
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Replying to @BostonSmuggler @SHESlMMUNE
βshe was forced to look at her. tess could see the heartbreak in her eyes, and she knew that heartbreak well. that was the heartbreak of loving joel miller. because even if he didnβt realize it, even though he pretended he wasnβt, he was the sun in their lives, β
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Replying to @BostonSmuggler @SHESlMMUNE
βdid not change the fact that ellie was the child. it was like a switch had flipped in tess, and she had pulled herself together. the tears and sobs had stopped, and tess wiped her eyes, moving now to gently take ellieβs face into her hands, tilting her chin up so thatβ
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Replying to @SHESlMMUNE
was all of this her fault? had tess been the sweet lover of the grim reaper, whose gentle caresses were a mark of death?
after the initial shock had left her, tess remembered that she was the mother in this scenario. though her son had never reached ellieβs age, thatβ
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