Charlie Tilly

Appalling lack of taste.

Wow, amazing lack of sensitivity from @BBCWatchdog . It seems that the worst of Ebola is still to come There could be a chocolate shortage.

@countrygate It was great to meet both of you. Sorry we had to rush off, our guests had decided to be off... Sarah was absolutely brilliant

I'm watching the One Show. Why do the crew shout in the background? It's distracting. An outdated radio format brought to TV.

P. Noir Esq. It's been too long.

@MarkDamianONeil I have been to Byker. *takes deep breath to avoid rant of epic proportions.

A safe bet for @Tesco to send a coupon for free delivery until 26th when I just had a massive shop delivered today. #notthatgreedy

I've just turned on the telly and see Donny Osmond on Strictly. Why is this?

An advert on TV about a girl walking 10 miles for clean water. My son asks "Why don't they just live closer?". Explanation fails me.

What a bloody lovely October day. Bugger the ironing, I'm going out to kick leaves.

The sun is shining and I've got ELO, The Kinks and The View on my playlist. Brilliant.

Today I've had dealings with doctor's receptionists and post office workers. So basically a day of people being rude to me.

Sobertober fail.

So far I've had a sober-October. However, I have a feeling that Mr. P. Grigio may pop over this evening.

This windowcleaner is doing a most thorough job. It seems that all the window dirt is on the inside.

I'm the sort of horror who follows the windowcleaner round checking his work.