ASM

Dear @ICC, It is with a heavy heart that we now announce our unavailability to replace Pakistan in the upcoming T20 World Cup. Regardless of whether they now withdraw, the short timescales ensure it is impossible for our squad to prepare in the professional manner necessary to compete effectively in this global cricketing spectacle. We are not like Scotland and able to turn up on a whim, with no kit sponsor. Our players are from all walks of life and cannot simply drop their occupations to fly halfway around the world to experience temperatures only normally felt in Finnish saunas. Our captain, a professional baker, needs to attend to his oven, our ship captain needs to steer his vessel, and our bankers need to go bankrupt (again). This is the harsh reality of cricket at the amateur level of the game. This news will be extremely disappointing to our fans. Despite being the most peaceful nation on Earth, we maintain an army of online followers, and are the world's 14th most followed national board on X. We were ready to give the Dutch the biggest shock they have experienced since William of Orange lost the Battle of Landen in 1693. And the Americans were looking forward to taking on Greenland, or so their orange-dyed leader thought. Our loss is likely Uganda's gain. We wish them well. Their kits cannot be missed unless you have epilepsy, in which case they are probably best avoided. The future is always ice, until it isn't. Yours sincerely, Icelandic Cricket Association