I need to accept that Simpson's references are not a personality substitute.

Joined October 2011
Ted Hastings: we're interested in one thing and one thing only and that's catching Me: BENT COPPERS #LineOfDuty
18
552
12
1,940
Please enjoy Punk's exasperation at having to share the screen with the most genre-aware wrestler.
17
96
14
2,162
95,302
Losing a penalty shoot out to PSG and Fleetwood in the space of 6 months is quite something
8
329
7
7,793
56,478
Imagine getting dumped out of the cup by losing on penalties to a league two team. How embarrassing.
30
33
1,183
31,598
WE'VE WON ITTTT!!!!!! ❤️ (5-3) 🔵
931
4,563
554
60,032
884,913
I don't like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day.
26
394
10
3,780
128,959
Worst part of every gen Gen 1 - No Gliscor Gen 2 - No Gliscor Gen 3 - No Gliscor Gen 4 - Ice types Gen 5 - Ice types Gen 6 - Ice types Gen 7 - Ice types Gen 8 - Ice types Gen 9- Ice types
Its okay for your favorite pokemon gen to have a flaw. They basically all do. Gen 1 - No Post-game Gen 2 - Steep level curve Gen 3 - Gen 4 - Gen 4 Gen 5 - Should have had a third Sawk/Throh Gen 6 - Trevor Gen 7 - Required basic reading Gen 8 - Tree Gen 9- Not enough Briar
32
565
11
9,946
188,030
Recently rewatched Slow Horses and this time around it struck me that Lamb is not the hero (girlfriend leaves room) if Jackon Lamb was a fire truck he would be the biggest one in the world
53
2
855
14,920
food and drinks consumed in a movie theater doesn't really go into your body. it goes into your movie theater body which is separate & holy and harm-proof
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
This text is nearly identical to a tweet first posted by @plume__ on January 30, 2023. x.com/plume__/status…
55
6,354
185
72,868
1,077,028
Cal retweeted
Morgan Rogers 4’
🚨 Sources say EVERYONE is focused on SHOWING a response on the pitch at Stamford Bridge following United’s worst start to a league season in 40 years. #MUFC [@ChrisWheelerDM]
80
953
30
12,942
173,573
Funniest (most depressing) scenario now is they’re trying to buy time to get a replacement so are delaying it till the international break to sack Carrick but then we’ll somehow fluke wins in the next three games so they won’t be able to sack him based on their own bs
3
10
91
3,011
Replying to @CorbrielCarreno
Note... no gloves.
14
34
3
2,214
53,941
Yes because United fans have famously never criticised the clubs ownership.
Manchester United fans will still tell you in their thousands that this is a totally normal and sustainable way to run a business though.
1
13
1
547
10,168
Genuinely such a funny video.
49
Ultimately doesn't matter and maybe (probably) I'm wrong on the rules but the two footed lunge is a booking, minimum, when it endangers a player and that's right but that absolutely is not the case here? No idea why he goes in like that but he just intercepts the ball??
Dans quel monde c’est une faute et carton jaune ça @FA_PGMOL_ 🤡🤡🤡🤡 une institution corrompue.
50
Conte taking over would be funny. I don’t think it would work, but it would be nice to know that those players were getting screamed at every day.
38
342
17
5,906
113,475
But apart from that, things seem alright.
A blood-letting of unprecedented scale in the Stretford End in that second-half. “Sell United and fuck off home.” “You can stick your new stadium up your arse.” Bonfire chant for Glazers + Jim Ratcliffe. Jason Wilcox also a target. Players booed. #MUFC
36
Old Trafford singing: "Build a bonfire, put the Glazers on the top, put Ratcliffe in the middle and burn the f*****g lot."
101
3,576
157
33,360
740,641
not ideal
misogyny checkpoint: what’s the first tweet that shows up when you search “women” on your page ?
65
353
11
7,494
86,100
grim reaper is somehow 0-40 vs this motherfucker
Ric Flair provided an update after suffering a fall yesterday in Tampa “I Am Focused On My Healing And Recovery Right Now. I Will Be Okay!”
117
1,035
15
16,232
266,371
we cookin up antibiotic resistant adhd
THE FUTURE IS HERE
206
22,933
329
246,296
3,534,155