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Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt) profile picture

Dead Pan Nick

@Contwixt

24/7/365 Observer. Picture-taker. Frequent participant. Occasional make-happener. Bowling. Clouds.

 Gunbarrel, CO
xitter.gq/search?q=from%3Acontwixt%20exclude%3Areplies&t=JkINyUhJBIycIRU05IpA1Q&s=09
Joined October 2013
  • Tweets18K
  • Following12.4K
  • Followers21.4K
1.6KMedia
Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)Photo by Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)
When I said I was "down to earth," I meant that I am like a hungarian goose feather comforter, lain upon the earth.
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Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt) profile picture
Dead Pan Nick
@Contwixt12 Oct 2023
four seasons. total. landscaping.
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Annie Hatfield (@AnneHatfieldVO) profile picture
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVO8h
Martha Stewart once said “potato" with such chilling precision, I became forever wretched.
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Michael Luo (@AzianMike) profile picture
Michael Luo
@AzianMikeNov 6
We must build more donut centers
Polymarket (@Polymarket) profile picturePolymarket
@PolymarketNov 6
BREAKING: Krispy Kreme officially outperforms NVIDIA over the past year.
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jabberwocky12 (@trobo11) profile picture
jabberwocky12@trobo11Nov 6
What are they gonna do, poll each other?
Image from jabberwocky12 (@trobo11)
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Annie Hatfield (@AnneHatfieldVO) profile picture
Annie Hatfield
@AnneHatfieldVONov 5
When you can't quite identify the flavor, it's hydrogen peroxide.
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Skurt Vonnegut (@ThisLocalHater) profile picture
Skurt Vonnegut@ThisLocalHaterNov 4
My therapist brought up boundaries just as I was playing with his hair
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We have to say “Mississippi” after each number
La Soule (@okmeaux) profile pictureLa Soule@okmeauxNov 4
Wtf takes Mississippi so gahdamn long to count votes??
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Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) profile picture
Not Today Eric
@NotTodayEricNov 1
What, and I cannot stress this enough, time is it.
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Hard candy is for suckers
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Trey (@treydayway) profile picture
Trey@treydaywayOct 24
4 years old and she's already slamming doors... I'm not religious but pray for me
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Twitter I will always love you Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary
Image from Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt)
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Also: Waiting in line. These interesting people-types somehow enjoy it. Gen Z is a throwback.
Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt) profile pictureDead Pan Nick
@ContwixtOct 20
Gen Z is first generation in a minute who earnestly believes in entering contests. Where are you at, publishers clearinghouse.
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Gen Z is first generation in a minute who earnestly believes in entering contests. Where are you at, publishers clearinghouse.
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Horned Sphere (@Horned_Sphere) profile picture
Horned Sphere@Horned_SphereOct 18
That new Nathan Fielder movie had the hipster theater hootin and hollerin like a black church last night
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It takes some serious intentional naivety to call willful ignorance by any other name
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Hard work is only hard because you aren't getting paid enough to do it.
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Dead Pan Nick (@Contwixt) profile picture
Dead Pan Nick
@Contwixt20 May 2017
It's one thing to get a golf tee stuck in a nostril. Shit happens. But if you've got a golf tee in each nostril, that's a pattern. Wake up.
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Mina Kimes (@minakimes) profile picture
Mina Kimes
@minakimesOct 5
Me when my parents rented DEEP IMPACT from Blockbuster
Image from Mina Kimes (@minakimes)
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Velodus 🦃🍁 (@velodus) profile picture
Velodus 🦃🍁@velodusOct 4
*flirting* You're the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on in the Statcast era
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Jagger May (@JagSays) profile picture
Jagger May
@JagSaysOct 4
“Babe do we have to watch Daniel Jones vs Athan Kaliakmanis first thing or can we go to brunch?” Me:
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