Cop Humour Australia

🦠 May 2021: Not allowed to travel more than 10 kilometres ⛽️ May 2022: Can’t afford to travel more than 10 kilometres

A joint operation involving the Queensland Police Service and the Australian Federal Police has resulted in the largest goon bust in national history. With an estimated street value of $39.

When you realise the job you’re at is a civil matter:

Just like their hooman partners, police doggos are never off duty! 🐶😂

when the person you’re dealing with asks to speak to the sergeant and the sergeant says the same thing you did

Butterflies don't know the colour of their wings, but human eyes know how beautiful they are. Likewise, you don't know how good you really are, but others can see that you're special.

“I solemnly swear to forget the straws and the sauce, and never fix the ice cream machine”

Cop: seen anything unusual? Me: a dolphin with a hat once Cop: I mean around here Me: nah they live in water

When you’re trying to sleep after night shift and someone wakes you up before noon:

Doctor: Do you work in policing? Me: Yes I work in policing Doctor: Do you drink? Me: Yes I work in policing

It seems I have replaced my 10,000 steps a day with 10,000 calories a day. I’m sure it’s fine.

Don’t mind me, just kitting up! 🤧🔫😷

If you see this #ThinBlueLine patch running past you — try to keep up! 😂 👉🏻 cophumouraustralia.com 👈🏻

A cold case file should be sent to every true crime junkie household in Australia, it’s time for some quarantine justice!

When the probie tells you to take the upcoming exit and you’re going 140 in the right lane

Cop *knocking on door* open up it’s the police! Me: it’s ok, I haven’t done any crimes Cop: the fashion police Me *kicking my crocs off* shit

Our newest recruits PD Bailey and PD Badger wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day! 😍❤️ #badboysbadboyswhatchagonnado #stopinthenameoftheaww #beepboopthesnoot

Crook: “I’ll have your badge!” Me leaving the watch house:

To anyone who’s considering moving in with a police colleague, please remember this: Yesterday, I bought a packet of Tim Tams and today there are only 2 left.