Oz the Prismatic 🧙🏻‍♂️💎🌈

Cave Johnson here. I'm told that we have to do this "DEI" thing so that we can get more government money for our science experiments. Some of these contracts actually require a certain number of actually Godless sodomites for fulfillment. No word on if that's by weight or what. But you know what? That's fine by me. I am all for... uh... I'm not reading that. That acronym isn't even a word- No- Fine. Welcome to Aperture Science protected classes! Unrelated announcement: The eggheads down at the spider silk labs need test subjects for something and I'm told they aren't picky. I've been asking for spider silk PJs for the last six months, but no joy. Whoever gets down there first, your first assignment is to ask about that. Look, I'm not telling the HR moro- I mean, staff that we're only hiring whatever freakazoids the government tells me to put into the weirdly thirsty for human juices spider silk labs. I am saying that I'm glad our staffing problems down there are over. And we're all getting spider silk jammies. Peak efficiency. I love it. Cave Johnson, we're done here.

This is the exact sort of character @johncwright2001 will come up with for one chapter who will say the most profound thing ever uttered by a dude with a pumpkin on his head and then will never be seen again. It will also be an obscure Wizard of Oz reference.