Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a douche bag in tin foil. #fyoproblems
#anti-pickuplines He: where have you been all my life?
She: hiding from you. #fyoproblems
#anti-pickuplines He: I think I could make you very happy.
She: why? Are you leaving? #fyoproblems
#anti-pickuplines He: can I buy you a drink?
She: actually, I'd rather have the money. #fyoproblems
If we are all being honest here, your child makes me want to OD on birth control. #fyoproblems
No I'm not crying! Just having an allergic reaction to feelings. #fyoproblems
I ate four boxes of thin mints. Not feeling thin at all. #fyoproblems #dietfail
My parents accused me of lying today. I looked at them and said, "tooth fairy, Easter bunny, and Santa claus" then I walked away like a boss
My ex updated his status to "standing on the edge of a cliff", so
I poked him. #exboyfriendproblems #fyoproblems
If you were a dinosaur you'd be a bitch-a-whoreus. #fyoproblems #frenemyproblems
So you're telling me that just pinning exercise routines are not enough? I actually have to do them?! #pinterestproblems #fyoproblems




