Phoenix Apologist | Competent Huntress | Can’t Sing and Dance But Can Talk | Forever in Pursuit of the Noble Javelina | Just Be Sayin’ Shit
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Joined July 2019
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Now that I’m Funemployed and can post face I’m relieved to make people angry with my lukewarm takes so that when they’re like “I bet you feel that way about men because you’re a fat ugly pig with fifteen cats” and I can be like “no, only two cats” and mog them
His best friend to me yesterday: “No no no, hear me out. You’re crazy, he’s crazy. You’re avoidant, he’s avoidant. It just might work!” Honestly man I’m not sure how I feel being one half of what sounds like two stray cats in love, this isn’t selling me
Some dietary decisions ought to be strictly between a woman, her doctor, and the delicious Latvian pickled fish I bought at the World Market that make my mouth tingly
You can just tell guys you hook up with that you only get on top in serious relationships. “Get on top” I’ll get on top after you meet my parents
Anne 🐗🐍🦃 retweeted
Maricopa County posted 40,609 ballots tonight.
Hobbs 63.2%
Biggs 34.2%
Maricopa County still has approximately 25k ballots it is processing.
A large number of these remaining ballots will not end up counting. Provisional ballots from voters who weren't eligible, and early ballots with signature issues that aren't cured, won't be added to the totals.
Anne 🐗🐍🦃 retweeted
haha yeah i actually didn’t get hot until after high school so i had to develop a personality. then i was hot for about 4-5 years and wasn’t hot any more. then got hot again around 27, stayed hot for 6-8 months, chopped again, got hot for my 31st birthday, then
At the pool bar yesterday somebody said to me “Do you know Craig and Boat?” And I said “I know Craig, but who’s Beau?” And he replied “No, Boat. Craig and Boat. They’re best friends, I’m surprised you haven’t met Boat if you know Craig”
Who tf is Boat? Craig and BOAT?
Anne 🐗🐍🦃 retweeted
You ever just look at someone and are like “yeah he’s a mine inspector alright”
JUST IN: AP projects Democrat Brian Matlock has won the Arizona Mine Inspector race, defeating Republican Les Presmyk. fox10phoenix.com/news/2026-a…
Have been watching the same unfunny millennial quirk chungus lady on the pool table make the same joke all night by telling her doubles opponents they’re gonna play shirts versus skins
Gina Swoboda having a meltdown at the AZGOP and posting wine mom meme subtweets this week is so funny like go off queen
