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HeyMan800

@HeyMan800

Professional investor, amateur comedian

Joined January 2011
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  • Followers2.9K
179Media
Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)
I won fifteen dollars on Prediction markets betting on the elections. My stocks are down about two million dollars after hours. This is what we in the biz call “hedging your risk”.
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This is the worst night Donald Trump has had since his close personal friend Jeffrey Epstein died.
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Last night at approximately 9PM, shortly after my children fell asleep, a rogue AI agent escaped its sandbox and ate all of their Halloween candy.
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You can’t get margin called if you put your phone on airplane mode.
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Look I know the markets have made this a really hard week for all of us, but try to cheer up and remember that Black Monday occurred on the third Monday in October and this coming Monday is the third Monday in October.
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Warren Buffett must have been so upset when he found out this isn’t a spoon manufacturing company.
Bloomberg (@business) profile pictureBloomberg
@businessOct 14
Berkshire agreed to invest an additional $330 million in Bending Spoons, bringing its stake in the Italian technology company to 4% just three months after backing its initial public offering. bloomberg.com/news/articles/…
Berkshire Invests Another $330 Million in Bending Spoons

Berkshire Invests Another $330 Million in Bending Spoons

Shares of Bending Spoons surged as much as 55% after Berkshire Hathaway Inc. agreed to invest an additional $330 million in the Italian technology conglomerate.

bloomberg.com
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The good news is your stocks can only go down 10% a day for 10 days max.
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Please disregard my prior post. I appeared to have made an incorrect calculation. Based on my updated analysis it appears your stocks can go down 10% a day for infinite number of days.
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Being a dad is just telling yourself “it’s been an expensive month, we’ll get back on track next month” over and over again until you die
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The plan? Give both of our sixth-gen fighter contracts to Boeing.
Image from William "Balloon Guy" Kim (@TheKimulation)
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Spoke to several major CEO’s today to get a sense on the economy and each one said the exact same thing, which was to not call them on their cell phone again.
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I spent $120 so my kids could make $60 at a lemonade stand. And they are keeping the $60. Call me Sam Altman.
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Don’t invite me on an analyst bus tour and then get mad when I try to drive the bus.
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They are going to send Bill Gross to Guantanamo
Richard Hanania (@RichardHanania) profile pictureRichard Hanania
@RichardHananiaAug 21
Trump on bond market interventions: “The ultimate intervention is our military.” What?
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I kept telling everyone I could get them into the next investment round for the coolest space company and now everyone’s mad that we bought the company that makes that astronaut ice cream.
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Using 100,000 tokens to ask Claude what the stock symbol is for 3M.
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The good news is I’m getting a lot of inbound calls the bad news is they are all margin calls.
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I literally thought this was Rodney Dangerfield. @Downtown
Image from HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)
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Belgium is going to wake up to 200% tariffs tomorrow morning.
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At what oil price do we demand Iran re-close the Strait of Hormuz?
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