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HeyMan800

@HeyMan800

Professional investor, amateur comedian

Joined January 2011
  • Tweets1.6K
  • Following712
  • Followers2.9K
179Media
Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)Photo by HeyMan800 (@HeyMan800)
Being a dad is just telling yourself “it’s been an expensive month, we’ll get back on track next month” over and over again until you die
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The plan? Give both of our sixth-gen fighter contracts to Boeing.
Image from William "Balloon Guy" Kim (@TheKimulation)
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HeyMan800 retweeted
Yael Bar tur (@yaelbt) profile picture
Yael Bar tur
@yaelbt13 Oct 2025
Absolute perfection. Avinatan Or’s boss at @nvidia writes to him, read till the end: “Avinatan Or, I hope you have a good excuse for not showing up to work at NVIDIA for 738 days. But every Sunday morning for two years, the head of NVIDIA Israel’s HR, Gideon Rosenberg, sent an email to all employees counting the days you were in captivity and calling everyone to join him for a reminder vigil in front of the Kirya gate, held every Sunday evening. Even the global CEO, Jensen Huang, mentioned your name in every quarterly internal meeting, telling 40,000 employees that their colleague was being held captive by Hamas. How wonderful that you’ve returned home. I heard you have an amazing girlfriend who’s eagerly waiting for you, loving parents, that you work at a place that cares for you, and I also have some pretty good news about what’s happened with your stocks over the past two years.”
Image from Yael Bar tur (@yaelbt)
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The Official Melania Meme is live! You can buy $MELANIA now.   melaniameme.com/ FUAfBo2jgks6gB4Z4LfZkqSZgzNucisEHqnNebaRxM1P
Image from MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP)
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I don't see how this market can be stopped. It's like a mighty ocean-going behemoth steaming its way across the chilly waters of the North Atlantic. Nothing can stop it.
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You’re bearish They’re gonna just make up the fucking economic data and you’re bearish
Image from kyle o’hehir (@financeguy725)
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Alaska Permanent Fund Corp. ($80 bn) is hiring a Portfolio Manager (Juneau) $200k - $225k @uaanchorage @uafairbanks @uasoutheast @AlaskaPacificU @uoregon @georgefox @IdahoStateU @uidaho @UWyonews @uw @seattleu @GonzagaU @CSUF @SDSU #hiring #alaska allocatorjobs.com/portfolio-…
Alaska Permanent Fund Corp. ($80 bn) is hiring a Portfolio Manager (Juneau) $200k - $225k

ALT Alaska Permanent Fund Corp. ($80 bn) is hiring a Portfolio Manager (Juneau) $200k - $225k

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They are talking about being good stewards of taxpayer money while simultaneously using your taxes to buy Cardano and Solana They don’t respect you. They are not looking out for you. They are here to enrich themselves while people cheer
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Image from BuccoCapital Bloke (@buccocapital)
The Associated Press (@AP) profile pictureThe Associated Press
@AP19 Nov 2024
President-elect Donald Trump says he is nominating TV doctor Mehmet Oz to lead Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. apnews.com/article/trump-com…
Trump picks Dr. Oz to run Medicare and Medicaid, Linda McMahon for Education, Lutnick for Commerce

Trump picks Dr. Oz to run Medicare and Medicaid, Linda McMahon for Education, Lutnick for Commerce

Howard Lutnick is head of brokerage and investment bank Cantor Fitzgerald and a cryptocurrency enthusiast.

apnews.com
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The Yankee Goombahs are taking matters into their own hands xitter.gq/MLBWalk_Offs/status/18…
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When you’re up 500% on a stock without doing any research…
Image from Douglas A. Boneparth (@dougboneparth)
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The reveal of Robert Downey Jr as Doctor Doom.
Image from DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm)
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Taught my dog this new trick where I yell “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” and he keeps barking as loud as he possibly can.
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The Oppenheimer marketing team has an opportunity to do the funniest thing possible
Film Updates (@FilmUpdates) profile pictureFilm Updates
@FilmUpdates26 Jun 2023
The ‘BARBIE’ Dream House has mysteriously appeared in Malibu. (via @johnschreiber)
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HeyMan800 retweeted
Mezz (@for_yield) profile picture
Mezz
@for_yield28 May 2023
My 4 year old son asked me about what was happening with Bud Light I started to explain and he yelled "I know super contango when I see it. How can we take physical delivery of 10,000 pallets"
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Money tip: whenever I stay at a hotel I always steal the mattress. Then when I check out and the concierge asks me about my stay I say, “it was good but I think you forgot to give me a mattress”. I now have eleven mattresses in my garage. Pure profit
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But why?
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The ladies when they find a 6’2” private equity principal with a Tribeca loft
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Note to junior and mid-level folks from Credit Suisse (and other banks) who had recent career and life changing events, just like I did 33 years ago. What I learned about myself and the world when Drexel Burnham Lambert disappeared: bit.ly/3TzKPOy
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If you are worried about bank runs stop tweeting about bank runs.
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