Jupiter Faucet | Proof, Not Promises

Plot twist: The Solana founder agrees. In other shocking news, water is wet. The whole point is to distract from the only metric that can't be spun: burn vs. issuance. When that doesn't look good, you don’t fix it, you declare it irrelevant and invent a new category to be winning in.

@dfinity has already demonstrated actual onchain AI inference on $ICP. The current bottleneck is the computing power of existing node hardware. As hardware improves, so will performance and capabilities. Just like the child in your image, who will become more capable as he matures. Meanwhile, NEAR.AI, legally Jasnah Inc., doing business as NEAR AI runs other people's models on rented Intel TDX and NVIDIA GPUs. The "proprietary" stack? Phala's dstack. Opensource, Apache 2.0 licensed, also powering OpenRouter. NEAR AI own private-ml-sdk repository was literally built by Phala. Groundbreaking achievement: docker compose up on a TDX machine. Anyone with a credit card can replicate it right now. What users actually get is a centralized API run by one Web2 company, where the blockchain's job is sending your staking rewards to Jasnah Inc. in exchange for $5/month in compute credits. 🙃

What I’m calling out is the narrative that $NEAR has anything to do with AI. The marketing doesn't survive contact with its own docs. For example: ⚠️The blog says ChatGPT/Claude/Gemini access is "zero visibility to providers" The docs say those models are "proxied to their providers" and "the TEE privacy and verifiability guarantees do not extend to the upstream provider." ⚠️The landing page says "100% requests attested" 15 of 51 models are in TEEs. OpenAI alone has more entries in the "private AI" catalog than NEAR entire TEE fleet. ⚠️"user-owned AI" one private company, one gateway, one billing system. The chain's only job is routing your staking rewards to that company. ⚠️"our stack" Phala dstack, open source, Apache 2.0. their own docs says the SDK was "built by Phala Network." None of this is any kind of Web3 AI. It's an OpenAI API compatible reseller running on Intel/NVIDIA enclaves, with a token stapled to the invoice. Let me ask you straight: does the average crypto user think NEAR built Web3 AI? Because that's who this is for. Not you, you know the difference between an enclave and a blockchain. It's for the holder who bought the "NEAR is the AI chain" story and doesn't realize the chain's entire job is to move staking rewards from their wallet to Jasnah Inc. "only the foundation is allowed to work on products" Sure, thats why Anthropic have own ICP connector and Claude Code works on it directly: Internet Identity login, canister discovery, onchain calls etc.. Nobody's gated behind @caffeineai that's one door, Anthropic connector is another, icp-cli with own agent skills is a third. Now do the same exercise for near.ai. Name one door into it that isn't Jasnah Inc. Gateway? Jasnah. Direct endpoints? Jasnah. Private Chat? Jasnah. The "decentralized" GPU marketplace? Jasnah When real medicine is on the shelf, pointing at the snake oil matters even more. And this one's easy, the docs admit what it is while marketing and social narrative claim the opposite. Same bottle, two labels. Marketing wrote "cure" because marketing can. The docs wrote "snake oil" because the docs have to. Guess which one the holders read.