Lady Steph

Within the first 6 days of this month, I have already made more than my monthly salary from X. Two payouts for subscription revenue on Monday, and two payout from OCR today. I am just smiling like a fool here 😂😂

Practice giving and people will give to you … giving is not only about money. Give your time, energy, even engaging posts are part of giving.

Please let's discuss this man's DM.

A man once decided, at 25 and freshly starting a business, that the right response to getting a 20-year-old pregnant was marriage. Her family explained her father had long since left for another woman in Abuja. His own family resisted because he was too young; he convinced them with the pregnancy-and-shame argument, and they reluctantly stood by him. Seven years later the traditional rites remain unfinished. Her side kept offering excuses. He eventually funded her brother to go meet their father’s people. The brother returned saying the father wanted them to come. Preparations began. Then her mother announced that her own bride price had never been paid, so their rites would wait until that was settled. He stayed quiet about it and never told his family. Further checking showed the man introduced to his family as her uncle at the introduction was not actually related to her. The real uncle said no one had invited him. He also kept that detail away from his people. At home the pattern is daily fighting: She insults, he replies, she hits first, he hits back. Both have bruises. She has packed to leave multiple times and returned. Their children (now 6 and 3) are usually in the room during these episodes but have not been physically caught in them. In the latest round of quarrels he asked for food after he returned from work, she brought the food without water; an argument followed and she broke his laptop. No one was hit that night. She left for her mother’s, returned the next morning with her brother “to make peace.” The brother called him a child even after seeing the laptop damage; he then asked her brother to leave. A man claiming to be an Akwa Ibom chief in Abuja then summoned him over a complaint that he was beating her. He refused to discuss family matters there, citing that he is not from Akwa Ibom and none of those present were her direct family. She was present and backed the claim. Police were called; he was locked up and later bailed by his own family. She later threatened to leave again with the children. He agreed and offered to help rent a place. She switched to saying she would leave the children and he said that was fine too. Shortly before the planned exit she returned apologizing. His family has now formally stepped away from anything involving the two of them. He says he does not yet know whether he wants to repair the relationship, finish the rites, or separate. He wants the fighting to stop for the children’s sake and his own, and he has decided to stop hiding information from his family, henceforth. So the question for the audience is: After seven years of unfinished rites, a surprise unpaid bride-price precondition, a fake uncle, mutual bruises, a broken laptop, a chief-and-police interlude, and multiple packing-and-returning cycles. Is the next logical and reasonable step more family meetings or simply accepting that the original “we’ll just marry because she’s pregnant” plan has now fully matured into whatever this is? End.

Did I not advise you to forget the girl when you first came to me? Why are you coming to disturb my peace? God punish you and your yeye girlfriend.

A 27-year-old man has spent the last ten months with his 26-year-old girlfriend. On the surface it looked like a normal relationship. Underneath, he kept finding evidence that she was still very much in the market. The first time he caught her, she had been sleeping with a guy she insisted was just a friend. When confronted, she admitted it. Later, one of her female friends posted a birthday wish for another man. His girlfriend replied “e fine oo,” then spent the night putting more energy into the conversation than the guy did. She later asked her boyfriend to escort her somewhere and handed him her phone. He went through it and discovered she had deleted the chat, but the conversation with the guy’s sister was still there. She had planned to go visit him the next day. When the day came, she told her boyfriend she was traveling to Kaduna to see her female friend. He confronted her. For the first time in the relationship, he hit her. He says he regrets it. On another occasion he found a chat where she was telling a different guy how much she missed the sex they had and how she couldn’t wait to recreate it. In yet another incident, she kept deleting conversations. While the couple was out together, she went to the toilet and called the man to check if he had arrived at his destination. When they got home, she resisted handing over her phone. That was when he found the messages. She once told him her body count is 17. He has slept with three people before her and no one else since they got together. Before her, he had a four-year relationship that ended because the woman didn’t like calls while he was studying in the north and working in Lagos. There was also a brief, undefined thing with a friend in Jos that never really started and that he walked away from once his current girlfriend found out. Since meeting her, he has not been with anyone else. She has had two abortions for him. He says he has emotionally checked out. He does not see a future with her, only a short one. He finishes school in ten days and will be leaving. Now he is asking whether everything he has found is enough reason to walk away, or whether he will look evil for leaving after the abortions. So the question for the audience: Today is Wednesday, and I know that most of us are busy. Should we continue facing the business or work that pays us or we should wait for the next post? End.

A married woman messaged me this morning, feeling ashamed and unsure if what she experienced was real or a dream. She slept naked in her room with her toddler and baby, covered only by a wrapper because the weather was hot. Her husband slept in another room. In the middle of the night, she believes she saw her brother-in-law enter the room and look at her. The wrapper had slipped down, exposing most of her upper body. She left him in the sitting room before going to sleep and isn’t sure what to do. She doesn’t want things to become awkward between them. Conversation transcribed as is: Woman: Hello Agba, good morning. Something happened this morning and I'm kinda feeling ashamed. I slept with my toddler and my baby in my room naked and only using wrapper to cover cause the weather was hot last night while my husband slept in the other room. I think I saw my bro in law came into the room and was looking at me naked in the middle of the night while the wrapper I used in covering myself had dragged down showing most of my upper body. Now, I'm not sure if it's real or a dream. Do you think I should ask him if he was in my room last night? And I will sincerely not want things be awkward between us. Agba, please what should I do? Me: Ahhh But what was your brother in law doing in your room in the middle of the night? Woman: I don't know, I left him in the sitting room before going in to sleep Me: How old is this man? Woman: 35 I think and he is married Agba: So is he visiting? Woman: Yes Me: Are you sure he's the one that you saw? Or may be your husband was just coming to check on you and the kids Woman: No, I asked him, he didn't Me: Okay Is your husband his elder? Woman: Yes Me: But the room was dark, wasn't it? Woman: Yes it was but from what I saw he was using his phone light Me: What is your relationship with him like? Woman: Nothing serious, just on bro in law and small friendship level Me: How old are you? Woman: 31 years And his wife and I are very close Me: For how long was he present in your room? When is he leaving? Woman: I really do not know, it might be this week or next week Me: Okay, I'll suggest that you watch to see if it will happen again Woman: Okay, I will. Thank you so much What would you advise her to do in this situation? AJD.

In The Midst Of Chasing Dreams And Fulfilling Purpose, Remember To Pause, Breathe, And Take Care Of Yourself. Tomorrow Is Never Promised.

So, I got a salary increase but it wasn't what I was expecting. Then I told my lovely wife. Me: Baby, this is my new salary. I was hoping to increase your monthly "salary" by a 100k. It seems I may not be able to do that at this time. Then my wife and I started gisting about other things, and how she really appreciates my efforts and how difficult it is. I thought I was having a conversation with a considerate woman ooo. After we finished gisting, I gave her a good night kiss. "Good night sweetie" "Ehen sweetie, before you sleep, can you at least add 20k as an increase?" To show say I be considerate husband, I had to play along like a "loving husband". Ladies and gentlemen, na so she get 20k increase ooo. I was just trying to form caring and understanding husband ooo. My lovely wife come capitalize on am. You know the funniest part? "Sweetie do you know that I have been thinking of how to ask you for an increase, thank God you said it 😂" She dey laugh me. Never again! I'll never be a mumu man again! Please forgive me for failing you people 😭. End.

Are you people missing the part where she said she had 4kids and he paid for everything before she left? A man that wasn’t afraid to send you abroad despite the horrible advise on the internet,is a good man in my books It is HER marriage. When e reach your own,choose divorce🙏🏽

Sometimes your prayer is already answered: and the answer is NO! Brutal💔

When money is tight, couples fight more, separate more, and divorce more. Infidelity sometimes follows. Not always from boredom, but from one partner looking elsewhere for financial support or status. Divorce statistics don’t always capture the full picture because many unions are informal. Still, the pattern is clear. Where households can’t reliably feed themselves, pay rent, or meet family obligations, the marriage weakens. Women and children usually suffer the most when it breaks. This doesn’t mean money is the only issue. Poor communication, in-laws, and changing roles for women all matter. But financial pressure sits underneath most of them. When a couple can’t meet basic needs or agree on who gets help, everything else becomes harder to handle. The practical reality is simple: in much of Africa, marriage is being asked to survive conditions that would strain any relationship. Until incomes become more stable and couples learn to manage money and extended-family demands reduce, money will keep ending more marriages than love alone can save. And know this... A failed marriage is not necessarily a divorced marriage. AJD.

If the average legitimate worker in Nigeria earns N500k or less per month, then all average legitimate workers should be able to get married and raise a family without severe hardship or complaints. The Nigerian economy is living beyond its means. What is obtainable within its confines should not be out of reach for an average citizen. If the minimum wage in the country is N70k per month, then the average legitimate worker should not have to beg to feed. People are frustrated in this country. Income is far less than expenses. We cannot continue this way. We must vote out the APC government. They're evil, and have turned may Nigerians to mad dogs and beggars. End.

A married woman needs my advice, but I have decided to put it out for a debate or discussion. She has been married for 9 years, and her husband has been jobless for about 2 years now. In their second year of marriage, her husband lost his job and she was supporting them financially, until a year later. Her father bought a Tokunbo car for her husband and advised him to use it for Uber/Bolt so that he can take care of his family. She works in a bank. Her father never asked her husband to repay him. It was free. He drove that car for about 4 years until it packed up due to poor maintenance and all. Then he stopped working again. Since then, his wife has been using her salary to sustain the home. She earns about N1.4m every month. Now, she wants to secure a loan for her husband so that they can buy another car for him to restart his Bolt business. She discussed it privately with her father, but he advised against it and told her to focus on her children and forget her husband because he is disappointed in him. She says the load that she's carrying is heavy for her, and she cannot watch him asking for money every time. The home is becoming too toxic for her. Question for the audience: Should she go ahead and secure the loan for her husband, or should she ignore him and follow her father's advice? End.

I just watched a vidoe where a man (M) was being interviewed by a woman (W). W: if you have a rich bloodbrother who is married with children, and he suddenly dies leaving a house that he built and other assets, who does the property belong to? M: The property belongs to me. He is my blood brother and family. W: If you are rich and married with children and you have a property and other assets, and then you suddenly die, who does your property work belong to? M: The property belongs to my children. W: So why is that your late brother's property doesn't belong to his own children and his wife? M: That's my personal interest and decision. Except my brother wrote a will to say that his property belongs to his wife and his children, it belongs to me. Men, if you don't write a will to protect your wife and children, your children will never forgive you in your grave. Your siblings stopped being your first family the moment you married your wife and started having children. End.

Asking a child what happened after you have already decided they are lying is not an investigation. They explain. You call it an excuse. They go quiet. You call that proof. What answer were they allowed to give? Check the facts. Speak to the people involved. Correct the behaviour you can establish. Being the adult gives you responsibility for a fair hearing. It does not make your first suspicion automatically correct.