excellent skipper disliker of olives, feet https://xitter.gq/t.co/Q7oBfDeDJx
Kaua‘i (via New Jersey)
Joined July 2010
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me verifying on imdb that an actor with one line in a 'king of queens' episode from 2002 was the same actor who said one word in a 'seinfeld' episode from 1994 and that i was of course correct and how there is no transference of this skill in any financially viable way
after i crush up all my chickpeas, i close my eyes and say a little prayer to honor them posthummusly
i'm gonna need the wordle bot to stop concurrently telling me i have a great vocabulary while giving me a zero for skill. gaslighting dick.
⏹️ Click here and we'll recognize this computer for 30 days oh did I say 30 days I meant no days zero days who the fuck are you. In fact what the fuck is this contraption that you're even using is this a landline are you loggin in on a landline gtfo leave here and never come back
i think we need an A24 reimagining of aladdin. a lovestruck guy slowly slipping into psychosis as a bunch of inanimate objects and animals become his friends and foils. the trailer ends with a close-up of rami malek staring straight ahead going “don’t you dare close your eyes...”
me: [about to fall from a tree] oh crap
rotten branch:
loose branch:
michelle branch: if you want to, i can save you
do you think the guy who named the “liquid plummr foaming pipe snake” puts that at the very top of his resume or leaves it off completely?
simon 🦦 (elf/shelf) retweeted
📂The Corner
└📁Me
└📁The Spotlight
└📁Me
└📁My Religion
└⚠️ This folder is empty
i've been told most people don't think “i need to go to bed now so that I can be up by 1 pm” as regularly as i do
i've fallen down the rabbit hole of pokemon card show youtubers and it's probably the only good thing in the world rn
