Sheila

Would someone please tell me the size of the male birth canal? Approximately? Thanks.

Yesterday, I made the mistake of daring to suggest that certain situations carry risks worth contemplating before putting yourself in them. I was referring to the Russell Brand case, in which one of his victims found herself in a vulnerable situation with a man she thought she knew because of his celebrity. The response? That the real lesson is that men shouldn’t rape women. Well, of course they shouldn’t. But does anyone seriously imagine we’ll ever live in a world where a small minority of predatory men don’t exist? There has never been such a society, and there never will be. As a man, I also find the implication that all men are potential rapists, given the opportunity, deeply insulting. The overwhelming majority of men regard rape as one of the most heinous crimes imaginable and would never dream of committing it. We can introduce tougher sentences and launch endless educational initiatives. And I’m certainly not arguing against teaching children about consent. But the uncomfortable truth is that genuinely predatory individuals are unlikely to be deterred by moral exhortations about behaviour they already know is wrong. There are many factors that create a Russell Brand. And some of those now most vociferously expressing their outrage were among the millions who watched him on television, laughed at his antics and helped make him the seemingly untouchable celebrity he became. There’s a wider reckoning to be had about celebrity culture, the people who enabled him and the warning signs that were ignored. There’s also a glaring irony here. Some of the progressives rightly appalled by Brand’s behaviour seem remarkably reluctant to discuss the risks associated with immigration from certain countries. The Economist recently found that Afghan nationals were convicted of sexual offences at seven times the British rate, even after adjusting for age and sex. Other groups were also disproportionately represented. These are uncomfortable facts, but surely anyone genuinely concerned about violence against women should be prepared to confront them. Ultimately, I believe in individual freedom. Adults are entitled to make their own decisions about whom they sleep with. And if someone commits rape, the responsibility lies entirely with the rapist. But surely we should also be able to discuss personal safety without being accused of blaming victims? If you’re contemplating a one-night stand with a celebrity whose entire public persona revolves around sexual excess, and whom you don’t actually know beyond what you’ve seen on television, I’d suggest there’s nothing unreasonable about stopping to consider the risks. Recognising that predators exist isn’t excusing their behaviour. It’s recognising reality. And pretending those risks don’t exist, or can be wished away, won’t make anyone safer.