MacroMort

Jim Hacker: Humphrey, I'm told there's a situation at Diego Garcia. Sir Humphrey Appleby: Only geographically, Prime Minister. Jim Hacker: Geographically? Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes. It's still in the Indian Ocean. Jim Hacker: Humphrey, Iran fired missiles at it! Sir Humphrey Appleby: Towards it, Prime Minister. Jim Hacker: Towards it? Sir Humphrey Appleby: One missile ceased to function and the other was intercepted. So the island remains entirely where it was. Jim Hacker: I'm not worried about the island moving! I mean the implications. Sir Humphrey Appleby: Ah. Strategically speaking, the implications are extremely stable. Jim Hacker: Stable?! Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes. Since nothing actually hit us, we can express grave concern without the administrative complications of retaliation. Jim Hacker: But the base is on British territory! Sir Humphrey Appleby: Indeed, Prime Minister. Which means we are in the enviable position of being attacked in principle while remaining uninvolved in practice. Bernard Woolley: It's what the Foreign Office calls a very tidy situation, Prime Minister. Jim Hacker: Tidy? Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes. Untidy situations are the ones where the missiles land.