Chris Warner (@cwarn89) header
Chris Warner (@cwarn89) profile picture

Chris Warner

@cwarn89

Writer of screenplays, children’s books, and sports columns. I just had to explain to my daughter what a rotary phone is. https://xitter.gq/t.co/wJYDFlgJ9e

Joined February 2013
  • Tweets9.4K
  • Following1.3K
  • Followers299
Chris Warner retweeted
Alice Mills (@millsalice144) profile picture
Alice Mills@millsalice144Nov 3
My dreams of being a poet vanished like a thing in a whatever.
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Chris Warner retweeted
Grace Hall (@Randaroo1212) profile picture
Grace Hall
@Randaroo1212Nov 2
How many fucking women have to come out and say that Trump abused them as children before you believe that he’s a pedophile rapist???
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You know none of these people hang out at the Cheesecake Factory because not one of them mentions the brown bread.
Acyn (@Acyn) profile pictureAcyn
@AcynNov 1
Trump: Barack Hussein Obama saying something about Cheesecake Factory. It's a good company. I love the cheesecake. I know the cheesecake. He shouldn’t be disparaging it.
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AI. IS. POPULAR. BECAUSE. IT. GIVES. DUMB. PEOPLE. THE. ILLUSION. THEY. ARE. SMART. AND UNCREATIVE. PEOPLE. THE. ILLUSION. THEY. ARE. ARTISTIC.
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Normalize calling AI artists thieves Normalize calling AI content theft Normalize calling AI music theft Normalize calling AI films theft Normalize calling AI photography theft Normalize calling AI design theft Normalize calling AI apps theft Normalize calling AI writing theft
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This is some 1960s-farce-level stuff. Very impressive.
444 (@sadngkid) profile picture444
@sadngkidOct 23
When they started opening the fridge i lost it
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It's fucking crazy that an investigation exposing how Jared Kushner laundered billions if dollars through Azerbaijan, including payments to a warlord, a mercenary, and a hitman, isn't getting more attention.
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Jared Kushner received $2 billion from Saudi Arabia & the UAE to carry out political favors and was encouraged to keep the money in Israel’s central bank. This is the biggest corruption scandal in political history. Kushner has managed to outcrime Trump! xitter.gq/TheWyteRabbit1/status/…
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Chris Warner retweeted
Jeremy Herbert (@DDayFilms) profile picture
Jeremy Herbert@DDayFilmsOct 24
Was listening to a podcast when the guest started talking about the star of Amityville: A New Generation, saying he doesn't get enough credit, wondering what else he's done, but they didn't check to see that Ross Partridge was just in a little horror movie called Blood & Rust.
Image from Jeremy Herbert (@DDayFilms)
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This administration continues to protect pedophiles by burying the Epstein Files and covering up the truth—so it’s no surprise that they’re now defending a disgusting ad attacking a child rape survivor. The GOP has become the Pedophile Protection Party.
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I remember when this type of subject was about half of my feed on Twitter and I miss that so much.
kiramisu (@finallgrl) profile picturekiramisu@finallgrlOct 22
okay but what lip color did they use for dana scully especially
Image from kiramisu (@finallgrl)
Image from kiramisu (@finallgrl)
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Zero evidence of this happening anywhere. These people will believe anything.
Acyn (@Acyn) profile pictureAcyn
@AcynOct 22
Q: Which party do you think can bring down those high prices? A: I'm not worried about the high prices at this point. I'm more worried about how our kids are getting mishandled in schools
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What kind of weird hypnosis happened where this is out of the news cycle? A consensual White House affair in the 1990s was a main topic for years, and this gets nothing? Do we even have a fourth branch anymore?
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Chris Warner retweeted
Deb Haaland (@DebHaalandNM) profile picture
Deb Haaland
@DebHaalandNMOct 20
You know what should “immediately change”, President Trump? Funding SNAP and protecting Medicaid so families can put food on the table and people can access healthcare.
Fox News (@FoxNews) profile pictureFox News
@FoxNewsOct 19
NEW: President Trump says New Mexico should "immediately change its name to New America." "We are not Mexico, we are the United States of America! The name would add great value and prestige to the State!"
Image from Fox News (@FoxNews)
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Chris Warner retweeted
James Talarico (@jamestalarico) profile picture
James Talarico
@jamestalaricoOct 13
A party with multiple fugitives and Ken Paxton is still the sketchiest guy in the room.
Elizabeth Findell (@efindell) profile pictureElizabeth Findell@efindellOct 13
Replying to @efindell
In Dubai, Paxton and his girlfriend watched fireworks at a party with two fugitives who had failed to return to the U.S. to face federal healthcare fraud charges. One of them, Anosh Ahmed, had donated $190,000 to Paxton. wsj.com/politics/policy/ken-… w/ @MarkMaremont @jdawsey1
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“Why go for a walk in the woods when you can take an ATV?” I am so sick of these nitwits.
Luke Barnett (@LukeBarnett) profile pictureLuke Barnett
@LukeBarnettOct 12
The people in this thread commenting things like "why waste your time doing this when ai can do it for you" truly do not understand the point of life.
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Great piece on the Patriots tight end contributions from Chris here. Plus: a Proust reference!
Christopher Price (@cpriceglobe) profile pictureChristopher Price@cpriceglobeOct 12
The Patriots injury report was longer than a Proust novel. They had just four healthy WRs, and TreVeyon Henderson sustained an early ankle injury. Where would the offensive production come from? And who would help slow Maxx Crosby? Enter the tight ends. bostonglobe.com/2026/10/11/s…
The Patriots’ tight ends played a key role in Sunday’s victory. Here’s a closer look at their...

The Patriots’ tight ends played a key role in Sunday’s victory. Here’s a closer look at their...

The trio combined for eight catches for 101 yards and a touchdown and helped to make sure Raiders pass rusher extraordinaire Maxx Crosby did not disrupt Drake Maye.

bostonglobe.com
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Chris Warner retweeted
Dylan Williams (@dylanotes) profile picture
Dylan Williams@dylanotesOct 8
You guys fucked up painting the bottom of a pool.
The White House (@WhiteHouse) profile pictureThe White House
@WhiteHouseOct 8
America will establish a permanent presence on the moon. 🚀🌕
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1) Congrats to A’ja Wilson. 2) Caitlin Clark should play in Europe. Better refs, freer flow. She’d be happy, most WNBA fans would be happy, and her most toxic fans would direct their ire elsewhere.
Dan Zaksheske (@RealDanZak) profile pictureDan Zaksheske
@RealDanZakOct 8
A’ja Wilson wins WNBA MVP. Caitlin Clark became the first player in league history to average 20 points and 8 assists. She got just 1 first-place vote. And 19 of the 74 voters left her off their ballots entirely.
Image from Dan Zaksheske (@RealDanZak)
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I can’t tell if she’s wearing her cross necklace here, but she usually leaves it home when she knows she’ll be lying more than usual.
Acyn (@Acyn) profile pictureAcyn
@AcynOct 9
Leavitt: Trump had a huge rally in Texas. There were lines outside of the door. They had to put a Jumbotron outside just so the people could watch his speech, because there wasn't enough room inside. Don’t buy the doom and gloom from the pollsters.
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