Debra Garrett🇺🇸

It was Trump! It was Iran! It was the tariffs! It was the gas prices! It was every other goddamn thing under the fucking sun! Welcome to the Republican congressional post-election autopsy, where the corpse is still warm, the surgeons are stabbing each other with scalpels, and the incompetent motherfuckers who killed the patient are already fighting over who gets to run the hospital. Republicans lost Congress, and suddenly these spineless Washington parasites have discovered a bottomless reservoir of energy for assigning blame. Trump's priorities! The Iran war! Economic policy! Meanwhile, the congressional leadership that couldn't drag the SAVE Act across the finish line with a fucking tow truck is standing over the wreckage like a gang of arsonists demanding an investigation into suspicious smoke. Where the fuck was all this passion when they actually controlled Congress? Where was the outrage when campaign promises were rotting on the Senate floor? Where was the urgency when Republican voters were screaming for results? Where was this magnificent fighting spirit when John Thune and his collection of procedural eunuchs were treating Senate traditions like sacred fucking scripture while the legislative agenda died of neglect? Now everybody's a goddamn gladiator. They're fighting Trump. Fighting over Iran. Fighting over tariffs. Fighting over who deserves the blame. Fighting over leadership positions. Ron Johnson wants to slow down the leadership election long enough to examine the catastrophe, while Thune is already reaching for another term at the head of the table, apparently convinced that presiding over a political fucking train wreck qualifies him to drive the next one. And while these self-important congressional jackasses conduct their pathetic little blame-shifting orgy, the clock keeps ticking. Judges still need confirming. Legislation remains unfinished. The SAVE Act is still sitting there like a monument to Republican congressional impotence. Every wasted day is another opportunity flushed straight down the fucking toilet. These bastards had a majority, a Republican president, and voters demanding action. They squandered the opportunity, lost Congress, and immediately began clawing at one another to avoid responsibility for the disaster. And here's the truly breathtaking fucking obscenity: the same political leadership that couldn't organize its way to meaningful legislative victories has suddenly become a precision-engineered machine when its own jobs are on the line. Apparently, self-preservation is the one thing these useless sons of bitches can accomplish without invoking the filibuster. So here we are. The Republican circular firing squad is assembled, the ammunition is distributed, and the leadership election is underway. And the same motherfuckers who helped drive the party into the ditch are fighting for the privilege of standing in the middle of the circle, yelling "Fire!" while collecting another goddamn paycheck. (article below)

Congratulations to Washington Republicans for discovering the greatest fucking employment arrangement in human history: lose your majority, disappoint your voters, squander your legislative agenda, and qualify for another term in management! John Thune wants to remain Senate Republican leader after the GOP lost Congress. His performance review practically writes itself: Failed to deliver the SAVE Act. Presided over legislative paralysis. Helped turn a Republican majority into a Democratic takeover. Overall rating: EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS. Recommend immediate contract renewal, upgraded office furniture, and a generous incompetence bonus. In any functioning business, the shareholders would be dragging management out by their expensive fucking neckties. In Washington, they schedule a leadership election before anyone has time to examine the balance sheet. And what a balance sheet! The SAVE Act remains unfinished, Republican voters are furious, and the legislative clock is running out. But rest assured, the leadership team has identified the emergency: SOMEBODY MIGHT LOSE THEIR TITLE. Ron Johnson wants time to reconsider the leadership vote. Thune's operation wants to move along. Apparently, the same institution that can spend an eternity contemplating whether to pass legislation needs approximately eleven seconds to decide whether its existing management deserves another term. Meanwhile, the executive compensation committee has convened. Failure to deliver campaign promises? Retention bonus. Electoral catastrophe? Golden parachute. Blaming Trump for the congressional wreckage? Outstanding communications skills. Maintaining excellent relationships with fellow Washington lifers? Promote the son of a bitch! At this point, Republican leadership should abandon elections entirely and introduce a customer loyalty program. Lose one congressional majority, get the next leadership term free. After three catastrophic defeats, enjoy complimentary retirement benefits and a commemorative plaque honoring your courageous commitment to achieving absolutely jack shit. And that's the miracle of Washington Republican management: the voters can fire the entire fucking company, and the executives who ran it into the ground still get handed the keys to the replacement. (article below)