angel

As a general rule, female "self-improvement" (if you can really even call it that) is mostly about gaslighting women into believing it's not their fault and they're innately, and effortlessly beautiful. It is one elaborate self-soothing mechanism, by women, for women, so all women can feel better without actually changing anything. Naturally, this is always going to be popular with women because it feels good to them, but functionally, it is useless and achieves nothing long-term, if anything, long-term, it becomes a form of psychological dependence and actively entrenches your worst traits, because it does not actually help women become better people or improve things for themselves. Hearing how everything is actually men's fault doesn't really do anything for you other than reinforce your frustrations and prop up your self-esteem, does it? But your self-esteem should not be built on lies and a misplaced sense of unearned specialness and superiority, but on actual integrity, beauty and accomplishments. You cannot bullshit yourself into respecting yourself, because to feed your ego is not to honour yourself, but to avoid yourself because without it you're scared. So my very simple advice is this: if you are a woman, and some "influencer" (including me) is offering unsolicited advice (as I am doing now) ask yourself a very simple question: is this designed to make me feel better, or is it trying to meaningfully help me in some way? If it does not challenge you or force you to confront yourself or raise your self-awareness, it is not actually helping you, just enabling you, and unfortunately most writing aimed at women does this. If it is making you feel better for being you without having to change anything about you, it is slop. I get it. You like praise, you like encouragement, you don't want to feel bad - everyone likes praise and nobody wants to feel bad, but consuming the memetic junk porn of "nothing wrong with you" and "you go girl" isn't actually going to improve anything for you. So are you going to stop being a coward and face yourself and actually apply some level of introspection and effort to being stronger and more beautiful, or you going to continue to hide in feel good slop passing itself off as wisdom, continuing to spend your life in frustration, wondering why nothing improves for you whilst doing absolutely nothing to improve it for yourself? You are a woman. You feel time acutely. Stop wasting it.

A person who thinks they must drag you down to be with you isn’t worthy of you, because they don’t really love you. They feel threatened by you in their attraction to you, and so feel they must reduce you to possess you. That isn't love. True love elevates rather than sabotages.