a mess and a half
he/him | Maryland | 🔞
Joined June 2026
- Tweets3.6K
- Following895
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Alex Murphy retweeted
i hate it when people say "let's get rid of small talk, tell me about your hopes, your dreams, your failures, your greatest successes" however i do think you should be able to ask one person at every gathering "so what's your deal" and they should have to answer
Approaching one week NoFap. I don't need corrective lenses anymore. My pecs bounce like The Rock's. I feel no material desire. My cock has shriveled to a golf pencil.
Alex Murphy retweeted
I think what makes this video so charming is that she’s completely bucking the tacit expectation of this sort of game that you’ll wince, groan loudly, and rebuke your past self for following the fashions of the day
Alex Murphy retweeted
this might sound ridiculous but the 2023 commercialization of snoopy has really skewed the essence of his character. im seeing multiple tweets saying snoopy wouldn’t be on the naughty list😭😭 pls he’s bad as FUCK.
bull! you can't be everyone's friend! everyone has different desires and there's no version of you that satisfies them all! you will lose the ones who genuinely like you in this futile pursuit! be yourself and love will find you! acting otherwise is exhausting!
Alex Murphy retweeted
I just ran over your devine feminine fawn girlfriend. I'm so sorry. She was dead on impact.
is Olivia Colman too obvious a choice to play M? I've said before they should keep Whishaw as Q, but Leo Bill might be good. and imo for Moneypenny just swap Naomies, Ackie for Harris
Just found out my parents handed out chips instead of candy on Halloween, because if we can't performatively deny ourselves superficial pleasures what do we have?
the unspeakable horrors that should be visited upon D******* UX/UI designers... start vibecoding your obituaries you SLUGS
Alex Murphy retweeted
The median American stress response is to buy more treats. Don’t be distracted by the specific form they take or the “my rights” grandstanding: this is just treat-buying. No different from the people who stocked up on Four Loko before the caffine and guarana were removed.
