Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

We need a word to describe the rage and nausea of looking at the latest issues of lit mags that rejected your work only to find they ran several stories clearly written by AI despite their no AI policy. At least I’m saving money with yet another canceled subscription.

Imagine if this had been a Democrat’s child. Wouldn’t even need to be Hunter Biden at the height of his struggles. Chelsea Clinton, Sasha or Malia Obama, Amy Carter? We’d never hear the end of it.

Meta should be required to disclose every single IP address it uses to access other sites for any reason, from anywhere, so site owners can block them. If they refuse to divulge that info, then slap them with IP theft, RICO wire fraud, and criminal trespass.

2026 in a photo.

We don’t talk enough about how introspection is like muscle: if you don’t get in the habit of using it, you’ll get old, and it’ll be too late. I see so many people my age and older who wandered through life never thinking about how they were impacting others. Now they’re alone and depressed because no one wants to be around them, and they don’t understand how their recklessness toward others’ feelings has led to that. Introspection: use it or lose it.

From a KU student: “I started using ChatGPT in my head…” People, we are doomed.

All while being told not to eat, drink, smoke, snort, or screw whatever and don’t forget to tip 25%.

“This Capitol building? These people are supposed to represent us and they won’t. So I will come here and I will represent me.” Yes. Yes to every word this young woman says. Yes.

People get upset about the silliest things. Today, someone scolded me for not rating books on Goodreads that I’ve read. First off, I don’t think it’s accurate to use the same scale to rate Isaac Babel and Leigh Bardugo. How could I place them in relation to each other while being fair to both? Second, mind your own damn business.

One of the ducks outside my window quacks like a chain smoking, drunk yenta from the lower East Side who just cleaned up at pinochle so, yeah, it must feel pretty good.

This account is changing the way I eat. Now everything is seasoned with tears.

If bots are so smart, how come they can’t figure out that I never, ever answer my phone so stop calling?

Elon Musk is an immigrant to this platform. He bought and ruined it with his hatred and greed. It’s his pattern; look at what he’s done to the country.

Lot of people don’t realize that some MFA programs and lit journals cozied up to the government in the past. Keep your eyes open so they don’t do it again. vice.com/en/article/how-the-…

Me, checking my inbox every morning in the hope of finally—finally!—seeing a lit journal acceptance.

The greatest opening line I’ve read in years: “Summer here comes on like a zaftig hippie chick, jazzed up on chlorophyll and flinging fistfuls of butterflies to the sun.” At no point could I predict the next word in that line, and the image it created was simultaneously new and familiar. That’s the kind of prose that makes me this zaftig hippie chick happy to stay up late reading, .@SneezingCow.

So many of us who gave the internet our content, our knowledge, and our time have lost everything to these greedy companies and the spineless government that plunders its citizens but does nothing to protect them.

Did I miss the memo telling everyone to be an absolute jerk today? Feels like I did.