Stand-Up Comedian. Author. Motivational Speaker. Cancer Boy. Founder of tons of awesome enterprises. Book me for a chat: https://xitter.gq/t.co/7wVHe3rVBu
Toronto/Windsor, Canada
Joined October 2013
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Look at your life. What is it you want to do more than anything? Do that. I promise that in the big picture it's best to self indulge. – at Toronto, Ontario
#CardsAgainstHumanity Loser Poem.
The snazzy KKK
Just two midgets shtting into a bucket.
Oh, Penis Envy.
Dad: What's for dinner? Mom: What did you do all day? Dad: Sat around, like you did. Only I got paid to sit around so get at er! Steak pls.
Mom to Dad; 'Where's the floss hun?' Dad,winking with a smile that makes me want to vomit: 'You mean those panties from last night? Ow! Ow!'
Mom and Dad are both on leave to be here for me while I die. They haven't spent this much time together in yrs. #TwitterGold coming soon.
#AmySchumer is trending over our national mental health campaign., w/ a nudge I bet she could really help kick it off #BellLetsTalk #Canada
I got a fancy dancy new #hospital bed at home now. My room looks like the final scene of #MatchStickMen where they pull the super con.
In !hospital for last few days. The floors here specifically reserved for us dying #cancer patients are gorgeous compared to last stay.
Nojoke, this episode of Judge Judy is actually 'sponsored' by 'The Victims of Mesothelioma #Cancer Caused by Asbestos.' Actually. For real.
You're a white comic, you have a joke with an ethnic accent, do the joke without the accent. If it bombs, cut the joke. #tipsfrombed #comedy
#radiation is a pile of shit. I just spent since 8AM choosing whether to shit or vomit or cry. I chose right as I am accident free at 3PM – at Ajax, Ontario
Want to feel sorry for #BrettFavre ? Watch this monkey on his infomercials all day on #AMC #sad #poorguy – at Ajax, Ontario
Josh Haddon retweeted
Damn. I miss my favorite comedians. @ThatMayyou @Andrew_Reaume @hahahaddon @JonPeladeau @robkemeny – at Windsor, Ontario
#sexuality and #cancer is a great read. Not once does it condone the using of one's cancer to pick up tho. #tinder – at Toronto, Ontario
