Former child. Beep boop. Non-practicing intellectual Follows and likes ≠ endorsement or agreement.
London/Ireland
Joined February 2007
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Remember when it wasn't important how someone looked?
Now if men and women don't look a certain way they are mocked.
unavailable
Phil retweeted
messaging my wife a link containing proof of her husband cheating on her from an anonymous instagram account and then when she clicks on it texting her to let her know she failed the family phishing test and she has to retake my cybersecurity course
Phil retweeted
SOMEONE PLEASE FIND OUT WHICH OTHER LANGUAGES THE BBC CYBER EXPERT DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT SO WE CAN STEM THE TIDE.
Note those who are cool with demonising grandparents are the same people who don't believe in child safeguarding.
Ireland is a joke. Again.
Irish hugging consent advert taken down after backlash trib.al/SKUKPW4
Phil retweeted
My granny went to hug me this evening without asking.
Safe to say she won’t be doing that again, dirty aul nonce.
Phil retweeted
Lex Fridman interviews a PHP security researcher
Lex: My guest today discovered a critical vulnerability in PHP. What is a vulnerability.
Researcher: A weakness that allows an attacker to compromise a system.
Lex: But aren't we all vulnerable.
Researcher: Yes, but
Lex: Is love a vulnerability.
Researcher: We're talking about remote code execution.
Lex: Could an attacker remotely execute love.
Researcher: No.
Lex: Stalin executed millions.
Researcher: What does that have to do with
Lex: Do you think Stalin was happy.
Researcher: I have absolutely no idea.
Lex: Fascinating. We're 3 hours in. Let's talk about consciousness.
Phil retweeted
Security called me at 6:12 AM today.
"Patch every PHP server immediately."
I asked what happened.
"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."
Cool.
How many PHP servers do we have?
According to inventory: 12
According to reality:
Nobody knows.
We found one running WordPress.
Three running old internal tools.
One under someone's desk.
Two inside vendor appliances.
A forgotten employee directory from 2016.
And a server named:
PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH
Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.
Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.
I asked who owned it.
The documentation said:
BRIAN.
Brian left in 2019.
We called Brian.
He said:
"Oh wow, that's still running?"
Excellent.
By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.
CEO:
"Can hackers actually get in?"
Security:
"Potentially yes."
CEO:
"Without a password?"
Security:
"Yes."
CEO:
"Then why do WE need passwords?"
Not the lesson.
Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.
Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.
Finance asked for a cost comparison.
At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.
Marketing refused.
"Our campaign is live."
So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.
We finally patched everything we could find.
Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.
Hostname:
TEMP-PHP-2014
Uptime:
4,512 days.
Nobody knows what it does.
Nobody owns it.
Nobody can shut it down.
But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.
Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.
It is running PHP 5.4.
The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.
The emergency patch took four hours.
Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.
The internet isn't held together with code.
It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.
She's gone and done it again!
She's written something the people who say they hate her won't even read.
I wrote a new piece about women’s rights and whether or not I want trans people dead. (Spoiler: I don’t)👇
jkrowling.com/opinions/an-up…