I had a rather unusual and deeply touching meeting in #Pilani yesterday. I met Pappu ji, as generations of BITSians know him. His real name is Kamal Kapoor. He has been associated with BITS Pilani since 1975 and runs a small canteen. After spending the first few years at Connaught, he moved to #Skylab in 1979. I went into the meeting thinking he might have come with some request. I was completely wrong. As a conversation starter, I asked him, “You have seen BITS students for more than 50 years. Have they changed?” His answer came immediately. “Sir, nothing has changed. They are still very imandar (honest). They are respectful. They are good students.” He told me that he had once visited another college where students were speaking rather rudely to canteen workers, saying things like “idhar aao, udhar jao.” He said he had never experienced that at BITS. Coming from someone who has probably interacted with more generations of #BITSians than most of us ever will, that meant a lot to me. He does however see a few changes. Earlier, after classes, students would come for chai, samosa, Maggi and long conversations. Now many go back to their rooms and get immersed in laptops and phones. Students also go home much more often during holidays. But his bond with #BITSians was never really about chai or Maggi. In the old days, if a student’s money order from home was delayed, Pappu ji would lend him money. It would be returned when the money arrived. Decades later, those same students invite him to @BITSAA meets in Dubai, Hyderabad, Goa and elsewhere. During the Covid lockdown, alumni called him from all over the world asking if he needed money. “I don’t need anything,” he told them. He never took money from any alumnus. Once, when his father was critically ill, he urgently needed about Rs 15 lakh. He reached out to a few former students. Within hours, they were ready to help. The procedure was eventually not needed, and he returned whatever money he had received. Many alumni still offer to help him. He refuses. “When old students come and hug me, that is enough. I don’t need their money.” That sentence stayed with me. He remembers alumni from the late 1970s onwards. When @RevathiAdvaithi came recently for our Pilani convocation as Chief Guest, he told me proudly that one of the first things she did was come and hug him. Later, instead of going for the official dinner, she and her husband came to his stall and had Maggi. I also asked him, “Do you find students more stressed today?” He looked surprised. “What stress, Sir? They are all happy. They are all nice students.” Towards the end, I asked, “Is there anything the Institute can do for you?” “Nothing, Sir. I am very happy. BITS has given me everything.” I asked him again. The answer was the same. I came away thinking about that for a long time. We spend so much of our lives chasing positions, money, recognition and things we believe will make us happy. Here was a man who seemed to want none of these. For him, happiness was in the relationships he had built over five decades. In students who still remember him after 30 or 40 years. In alumni who travel all the way to Pilani just to meet him. In that hug from an old student. #Pappu ji seemed to have no negativity about anything. Every story had gratitude in it. Every memory was about people. For more than 50 years, he has served generations of BITSians chai, Maggi, samosas and shikanji. In return, they seem to have given him something far more valuable. A very large family. Perhaps that is what BITS Pilani is ultimately about. And perhaps Pappu ji, in his own simple way, reminded me yesterday of something all of us know but often forget. A happy life is ultimately about the relationships we build and the love we leave behind. @bitspilaniindia