Jack Daniel Melanson (@jackmelanson24) header
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Sold out seats to hear Jack Melanson speak

Los Angeles, CA
Joined June 2012
I just spent a whole minute trying to capitalize “18”
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Jack Daniel Melanson retweeted
Fat Joe & Nestor Cortes battling it out for worst World Series performance.
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They got Fat Joe to counter Ice Cube?
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To lose a child is to have a piece of your soul ripped away. It is never quite the same. And it’s the feeling shared by the siblings, grandparents, families, and communities left behind. I ask the nation to pray for them, to give them strength in the darkness they feel.
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I was robbed at a gas station in NJ last night. After my hands stopped trembling..I managed to call the cops and they were quick to respond and calmed me down..... My money is gone.. the police asked me if I knew who did it..I said yes.. it was pump number 9…
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Fun fact Tom Brady has won more than double the combined Super Bowls that Manning and Brees have.
Tom Brady has now been shut out 3 times in his career. Fun fact: Peyton Manning and Drew Brees were NEVER shut out in their NFL careers.
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Am hosting SNL on May 8
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Do you ever go to lookup someone’s contact as their Instagram handle and realize you’re a Gen Z swine??
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Jack Daniel Melanson retweeted
Everything to the moon!
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☾ 🔭𖨆♡
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Replying to @alexisjoelpr
Fuck that bill bro, let it go to collections
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Settings > General > Keyboard > Text Replacement > Remove “OMW : On my way!” Cheers, to never coming off too eager to get somewhere ever again!!
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Jack Daniel Melanson retweeted
Just a reminder Tom Brady & the Buccaneers beat Patrick Mahomes & the Chiefs 31-9 in the Super Bowl
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For those keeping track, Cancun Cruz’s trip was: (1) preplanned: (2) spur of the moment; (3) a family vacation; (4) a girls’ getaway; (5) always just a quick turnaround; and (6) cut short by cancel-culture liberals.
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“I used to date a girl from Lewiston and she would lie and say she’s from Auburn” - Dave Portnoy
Mae’s Cafe in Bath ME gets call. Calls like these make it so worth it. We still need donations to help as many businesses as we can. #BarstoolFund
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“I am DISGUSTED by anyone who calls themselves a socialist, UNLESS they become a meme that I can share on my FACEBOOK PAGE.” -my whole family
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Kyrie Irving is the worst leader of a franchise since Jared from subway.
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Jack Daniel Melanson retweeted
It's scary hours going up against the young Celtics duo this season: Brown Tatum 26.9 PPG 26.3 4.6 RPG 7.6 3.1 APG 4.0 57.7 FG% 46.7 42.9 3P% 42.9 They're both under 25 too #BleedGreen
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Whenever people tell me that they’re going to “mass” I always ask them “what part?” #oops
Never mind “Christmas” - it’s been A Charlie Brown Year
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My dad: Are Radio Shacks still open? Me: No. My dad: Okay, I guess we’ll just have to go to Circuit City!
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