Latter Day Saint. Mom of 4. I paint cowboys & horses.
Joined January 2023
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I didn’t get to bear my testimony today in church, so y’all get it here.
This month my dad has been gone for 4 years. He was 49. He was a high functioning alcoholic.
I cannot express the relief and grief I have felt since then. It’s an odd combination, to be glad your parent is dead but still grieve their loss.
No one knew he was an alcoholic except those who were close to our family. I remember people being shocked at his cause of death.
Towards the end, my little family was basically cut off due to my boundaries with my children (no driving them, can’t babysit, etc). It went against the rules he had setup, therefore we were “too good” for my family, even though my parents had been separated on and off for many years, and our family was extremely dysfunctional.
Those were lonely times. My siblings viewed me differently because of his stories. Just like any addict, he was good at manipulation.
But this testimony meeting I couldn’t help but be reminded of how much I have changed since his death. We moved to our home 5 years ago- and I know that we were meant to be in our ward and neighborhood.
The Lord knew we needed the support. My children needed adopted grandparents, I needed honest friends, and my convert husband needed good examples of righteous men.
Brothers & Sisters, the Lord is active in our lives. I have had every reason to be angry with Him for my upbringing, the abuse, and heartaches. I have seen others leave for less, for things I could’ve only dreamed to be struggling with.
Jesus Christ KNOWS where you are and what you will go through. He has put people in my life, including my husband who needed the gospel just as much as I did, to take care of me and meet me where I was.
His hand has ALWAYS been guiding me. When I look back through my life, I see Him everywhere. In the darkest moments of my life, to the most joyus occasions.
I have had the option many times to choose differently- to choose the easier path. I have chosen the path that has lead to healing, grace, forgiveness and joy.
Joy wasn’t something we had growing up. But because I have given my pains and sins to Him, I have joy. I have more than I ever thought I would have.
I am still very much unfinished- as we all are. But looking at what has changed and what He has given me, humbles me to my bones. Everything I have is because of Him.
I cannot wait to see where he takes me as I continue to strive to do better every day.
I say these things in Jesus Christ’s name, Amen.
A photo of my dad from many years ago, before he chose to turn to alcohol.
A father’s impact should not be understated
Dads, please remember, the most powerful leaders lead with persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, and knowledge.
Control, dominion, and compulsion may produce temporary compliance, but they also breed resentment and rebellion. You may get compliance, but you won’t get conversion. And without conversion, the relationship becomes a house of cards, just waiting to collapse.
Control is easy. That’s why it’s so tempting. It’s a shortcut. It allows us to get the behavior we want without doing the difficult work of building trust, developing relationships, and earning influence.
Think about the contrast between God’s approach and Satan’s.
God tells Adam, “By the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread.” In other words, meaningful things require effort, patience, and work.
Satan, on the other hand, tempts Cain with a shortcut: “You don’t have to earn it. You don’t have to wait. Just take what you want.”
Control is the shortcut to compliance. Love is the long road to conversion.
And while control may change someone’s behavior for a moment, love has the power to change someone’s heart forever.
I HAVE A REAL PIANO!! 🤩
This is the piano I grew up with! I’ve been playing on an electronic keyboard for 8 years. I cannot tell you how good it feels to play on something with a soul!!
Gonna be vulnerable with this post. It’s been on my heart to share….
I’ve been in young women’s for the last four years.
I have struggled with friendships with women. Growing up in a home with a high functioning alcoholic father, I do not think I was capable of having deep friendships due to high stress and emotional/physical abuse at home. Close female friendships have never been something I was capable of, and it’s something I’ve always been ashamed of. It was something I wanted but could never figure out.
I was terrified when I was asked to serve in young women’s because of this difficulty connecting with other women. However… I know God asks us to do things that help us to grow.
One evening during a movie night, I sat next to an older YW leader who I didn’t know very well.
The topic came up of difficult home lives, and she nodded slowly and said, “yeah, I remember the one time I had to call the police on my father. I never did that again.”
I was surprised to hear her say something that I normally don’t hear from others in my area. Over the next hour we swapped stories, and for the first time in my life I felt a real understanding with another woman, not just the usual superficial woman chat.
While I have served, a part of my heart has been healed by these YW. They are beautiful young ladies whose faith in the Savior shines in their faces. It’s a privilege to serve them and watch them grow. I take them to the temple once a month, and I have been blessed by their devotion to Jesus Christ and his gospel.
God knew exactly what I needed- not only the love I feel for the YW, but the sister who has such a similar story to my own.
“Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.
Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” Isaiah 49:15-16
God sees us and knows how to succor us.
maddy retweeted
New World Series champion Cooper Pratt:
“I owe it all to my Heavenly Father”
Incredible postgame interview here.
I forgot to press order on my pick up order for Sam’s Club today. I just spent one hour getting my groceries at Sam’s with four little children by myself. Please clap for me
It is 7:20 in the morning.
The 7yo is doing ballet to nutcracker in the living room.
The 5yo is doing her math with me.
The 2yo is laying under the table singing prince of Egypt.
The baby is somewhere in the room doing poop grunts.
maddy retweeted
Troy, your sister-in-law (L.) and her boyfriend are very special people. It was not a coincidence we could say hello and speak of our Savior Jesus Christ this weekend. His atoning love is infinite and eternal.
Got into an exchange with an LDS woman about how using the word “choice” in abortion softens the language.
I’m so tired of women in the church justifying killing babies… “BuT tHe EXcepTiONS”
One of the reasons we have a large portion of saints who support other’s “choice” is because it has softened the language. We’re cooked. Philosophies of men.
maddy retweeted
Reminder to my Idahoan brethren and sistren:
Polls are open NOW for early voting. Early voting ends October 30th--this Friday.
Election Day is November 3rd (Tuesday).
Christ's literal Church is AGAINST this initiative. Get out there and vote NO on Prop 1. It's important.
Over the last couple of years we’ve eliminated most processed foods & added sugars from our pantry. I make almost all of our food from scratch.
I made the mistake of having a cookie or two. I’m amazed at how lethargic & bloated I felt after eating more sugar than usual. Wild
I know a lot of younger people get upset about older neighbors being “nosy”… but honestly I love it when my 86yo neighbor shuffles over and asks about something in my yard or comments on my family.
“Yes, the kids are loud. I’m glad they remind you of your 7 kids, children are great. Yep, husband is on night shift, thank you for keeping an eye on us while he’s gone…” etc
I love it, and look forward to their little visits.