Alexa (@murphy_alexa) header
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“I want to live my life so that I’ll be able to read an in-depth biography of myself in later years and not puke.” - Paris Geller

Flavortown
Joined December 2011
Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)Photo by Alexa (@murphy_alexa)
In 2009 I said I would play he could be the one by Hannah Montana at my wedding and tbh I still plan on doing that. – at Lenexa, KS
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i love that @KansasCity doesn’t have bus drivers for public schools but they have bus drivers for the #ChiefsParade
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👀
Men will literally move to Phoenix and start a new church rather than go to therapy
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Dear Lord, Please make mozzarella sticks healthy. Amen
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It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 12 years, since 18 Dec 2011 (via @twi_age).
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Es IMPOSIBLE tener un mal día despues de ver este video esto completamente bendecido me limpio los chakras
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Hot take: It's weird when pastors talk about how hot their wives are.
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How disappointing would it be to get to heaven and find out God created life to be enjoyed while all we did was worry?
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My prayer for the church today: Revive Thy work, O Lord Thy mighty arm make bare; Speak with the voice that wakes the dead, And make Thy people hear. Revive Thy work, O Lord Disturb this sleep of death. Quicken the smoldering embers now by Thy Almighty breath.   A. Midlane, 1858
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my biggest financial mistake was being in 8th grade in 2009 when I should’ve been buying foreclosed real estate
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no one: moms: i was 92 pounds at my wedding
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People who make asmr videos with mouth sounds deserve a lifetime in prison
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Truly hate being associated with older millennials.
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of course god made men before women. haven’t you ever heard of a first pancake
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Jesus would never refer to people made in the image of God as “illegals.” Neither will His followers. – at Beatrice, NE
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God calls us to go on pilgrimage, but we'd rather be tourists. A pilgrim is led by God into the unknown and is invited to trust. A tourist just wants to sightsee on his or her own terms.
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Cursed camp images
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I think I’ve found the dumbest article with the dumbest quotes to ever exist.
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In Italy touring a historic Catholic church. Gave my sons a talk about reverence and respect before entering. First thing my 5yo does is blow out the prayer candles like it’s his freaking birthday.
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