Alisha Franks

Tweeted this last year as a joke and now pretty much every bus or train I go on has someone smoking on it

Someone asked me if I was going to Burning Man and I laughed in his face

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish and now all species of fish are endangered, and dolphins, too.

Umm if listening to Madonna and Cher remixes counts as meditating then yeah I meditate twice a day. Otherwise no, I don't have time for that shit.

At the Bjork concert

I was like 😍 but then I read the article and the weasel was trying to choke and kill the woodpecker lol

My podiatrist has a TV credit

"You can do better" - me to my friends re: guys I've never met or seen before

Every clickbait article about "building wealth" is always like "take it from me, a 26 year old freelance writer with no health insurance who still lives with her parents"

Instead of telling your crush about your feelings for them, just wait 5-10 years for them to inevitably become way less attractive.

Happy birthday to my long-distance comedy wife and frequent liker of my unpopular tweets, @ArijanaRamic <3

I find it shocking that more people don't smoke on the bus

Big pimple energy

Happy mother's day to my menstrual cramps

SoCal is the Bay Area's dumber, hotter sibling

If you liked a funny tweet from someone whose butt is half out in their profile pic 🚨🚨You liked a stolen tweet🚨🚨

This pandemic needs to END I can't keep having text strings like this with my friends