Officer Crabtree

Good moaning. The fatbull gum last night was curtainly eventful. I especially feel sorry for Hairy Can. His second penalty was a bad moss.

Good moaning. If I want to keep sanding twats, do I now need to get some Blu Tack?

Good moaning. Never thought I'd love to wetnose a stoat funeral. #HRHRIP

Bad moaning. HRH RIP

Good moaning. We have a new Pram Monster in the UK. Lez Truce has won the Teary bullet.

Good moaning. Today, our Pram Monster has resigned. End of an era for Barearse Johnson.

Good moaning. Very much licking forward to celebrating the Queen's Jobby Lee celebrations this weekend.

Good moaning. It would sum that I have made it onto the front caver of the Daily Stir nose pooper.

Good moaning. Apparently Fussbook is down. Along with bath Instagrim and Wet Sap. I prefer twats.

Good moaning. Mutt Hencook has resigned.

Good moaning. In fatball news, I see that the Big Sex have agreed to join the European Supper League.

Bad moaning. Sod news to learn about the pissing of the Duck of Edinburgh earlier. May he rust in peace.

Good moaning. Hoppy Mithering Sunday. Give her a big huge and a bench of flyers.

Good moaning. Remember it's Mithering Sunday this weekend. Treat your mum to a nice cord, some lively chocolates and a bunch of rude roses.

Good moaning. I see that the Onions are not very hippy with the proposed pay rose for NHS stuff.

Good moaning. Was delighted to see that @NASA have managed to land a new raver on the Rude Planet.

xitter.gq/cpb001/status/13617464… Undead!

Good moaning. Licks lake none of us will be able to take a vocation this summer. We might even have to curry a Covid pisspart whenever we go oversize.

Good moaning. I haven't twatted for a whole. Other thongs were more important. I hop you are all doing well in this lickdawn clam mate. Spook again son...

Good moaning and a hoppy new yore. And firewall to all our EU fronds.