It's way past time. We'll be checking in for basic maintenance on this X account, but please find us over here for the good stuff

6/ YOU ARE A HARVARD LAW GRADUATE WHO HAS JUST STARTED AS A 1ST YEAR ASSOCIATE AT AN ELITE DC FIRM who is being assigned to work with Elon Musk's new efficiency commission to slash critical environmental regulations

5/ YOU ARE A CONSULTANT AT MCKINSEY who has been assigned to advise the federal Bureau of Prisons on establishing an efficient supply chain and training program to carry out the thousands of new executions DOJ has secured in federal courts on Trump's orders

4/ YOU ARE A CODER AT PALANTIR who has been assigned to work on a federal contract to track menustral / reproductive histories

3/ YOU ARE A HISTORY TEACHER AT A FLORIDA PUBLIC SCHOOL who has been told they have 30 days to sign an oath affirming your commitment to only teaching "patriotic history" as defined by the President's 1776 Commission (an actual thing)

2/ YOU ARE A LOGISTICS MANAGER AT A TEXAS CONSTRUCTION COMPANY which is bidding for a contract with ICE to build sprawling camps for the coming wave of illegal mass deportations.

Don't worry folks, plenty more crimes to come! We sure haven't seen the last of those presidential crimes! Or "controversies," if you will. (I won't.)

The way that Trump caused a massive riot in the seat of our government that got people killed and refused to admit that he lost the 2020 election until like last week was really quite discourteous when you really think about it This is just trolling. How is this not trolling

In exchange for this unprecedented--and Ford/Nixon absolutely does not count--pardon, Donald Trump should... say something nice about Joe Biden, or whatever

lol (actual) and also what the slow bloody jackbooted goat fuck are you talking about