Joined January 2008
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Sam Dresser retweeted
Ok, I didn’t expect a story time on Saturday, but here we go. What I’m about to write is TRUE. It is insane, stupid, and very dumb, but it is true. Earlier today Donald J Trump, the p[resident of the United States, posted that he had offered the job of Press Secretary to Dana White. Well, it was the wrong Dana White… 🧵
Sam Dresser retweeted
As a kid I was really under the impression the Bermuda Triangle was gonna be a bigger problem than it is.
Sam Dresser retweeted
Tonight, the American people sent a clear message — they want a politics that brings people together rather than divides them, and leaders who offer concrete solutions to the challenges they face.
These results were only possible because outstanding candidates stepped forward in every region of the country — including in areas once considered long shots. They came from different backgrounds and represented a range of political perspectives, but were united by shared values, a belief in public service, and a commitment to putting the people of their districts and states first.
We also owe a debt of gratitude to the thousands of election officials and volunteers from both parties who helped ensure a smooth election and carried out one of the most essential functions of our democracy.
While this administration has another two years in office, our job now is to roll up our sleeves, make changes wherever we have the power to do so, prevent further damage, and lay the groundwork for the future.
Sam Dresser retweeted
James Talarico, a Democrat, is quoting Scripture in his victory speech, and the crowd is cheering.
Democrats don’t hate religion. We hate watching people weaponize it.
Faith isn't the problem. Using God as a weapon against your neighbors is.
Sam Dresser retweeted
.@JamesTalarico: We didn’t win by alienating our neighbors, or by shaming our neighbors, or by ridiculing our neighbors. We embodied a new kind of politics. A politics rooted in a deep love — for our state, for our country, and for all of our neighbors.
My faith teaches me that love is the strongest force in the universe.
Love is not passive. Love is not neutral. Love is not weak. Love requires that we stand between the bullies and the bullied. Love requires that we look evil in the eye and not blink.
Love can heal what’s broken in America.
Sam Dresser retweeted
It's like the Democrats just traded two first round picks for Jeffery Simmons, too.
I didn't expect it to happen, but finally gave @theo's T3 code a shot... And it's incredible. Feels like I'm barely scratching the surface, but the remote session capabilities across all my devices, live activities on mobile... Feels like the App that Anthropic should have built.
Sam Dresser retweeted
Obama tonight on his Cheesecake Factory line: "They mobilized a whole of government response to that joke. Not to inflation, but to that joke. The White House even called the Secretary of the Treasury. This is the man who is in charge of the economy. The person who's supposed to be figuring out how to make your life more affordable. The guy who's supposed to be figuring out how to lower inflation. And reduce interest rates. They told him he should hold a press conference in front of the Cheesecake Factory."
Sam Dresser retweeted
This supercut is likely to make Trump VERY upset. The difference between Trump and Obama is on full display, and the contrast is absolutely devastating. Watch until the end...
I migrated my blog to a static site (Astro) and am trying to post again. Here’s my latest: samdresser.com/revive-that-o…
Sam Dresser retweeted
Security called me at 6:12 AM today.
"Patch every PHP server immediately."
I asked what happened.
"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."
Cool.
How many PHP servers do we have?
According to inventory: 12
According to reality:
Nobody knows.
We found one running WordPress.
Three running old internal tools.
One under someone's desk.
Two inside vendor appliances.
A forgotten employee directory from 2016.
And a server named:
PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH
Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.
Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.
I asked who owned it.
The documentation said:
BRIAN.
Brian left in 2019.
We called Brian.
He said:
"Oh wow, that's still running?"
Excellent.
By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.
CEO:
"Can hackers actually get in?"
Security:
"Potentially yes."
CEO:
"Without a password?"
Security:
"Yes."
CEO:
"Then why do WE need passwords?"
Not the lesson.
Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.
Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.
Finance asked for a cost comparison.
At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.
Marketing refused.
"Our campaign is live."
So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.
We finally patched everything we could find.
Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.
Hostname:
TEMP-PHP-2014
Uptime:
4,512 days.
Nobody knows what it does.
Nobody owns it.
Nobody can shut it down.
But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.
Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.
It is running PHP 5.4.
The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.
The emergency patch took four hours.
Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.
The internet isn't held together with code.
It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.
Sam Dresser retweeted
So basically, today PHP got two critical bugs that let anyone run code on your server without even logging in, which is bad, and then the details leaked before the patch was even out, which is worse, and it works on WordPress and MediaWiki and Magento and Joomla and Laravel, and Censys says like 1.5 million servers are running a version with no fix, so the NSA was like "take your system offline," and the FBI was like "take your system offline," and CISA and the UK and CERT-EU were all like "take your system offline," and then the Prime Minister of Japan, the actual Prime Minister, posted at 5:55 in the morning telling 48.8 million people to take their system offline, so everyone took their system offline, like the Dutch cybersecurity agency took its own website offline, and the Dutch parliament went offline, and the Port of Rotterdam went offline, and Finland and France and Denmark started pulling government sites, and Wikipedia went down, and Archive.org went down, and Asana and GOG and Something Awful went down, and the University of Vienna's webmail went down for some reason, and that's just PHP. Because GitLab also dropped a CVSS 10.0, which is the highest score they give out, for a bug that's been there since 2014, so that's every self-hosted GitLab for twelve years, and then LiteLLM 1.107.0 got hijacked and shipped a credential stealer and a remote access trojan in every single wheel and the Docker images, including latest, and you didn't even have to import it, just installing it was enough, and it's the second time this year, and then Railway paused every deployment on the entire platform because someone got into the environment variables, so now everyone has to rotate every secret they've ever stored there, and TiDB Cloud said someone was walking around inside with stolen credentials for basically a month and an extortion group says they took 10.6 terabytes, and Zeabur got breached for the second time in two months and is just shutting down, like the whole company, and Node.js patched remote code execution and a TLS bypass, and CISA says Plex is being actively exploited, and someone took over 300 Tor exit relays to steal SSH passwords, and SafePay ransomware has hit over 600 critical infrastructure orgs, and India's biggest bank filed a data loss incident, and Japan has been in an official state of emergency in cyberspace since October 9, which honestly explains the 5:55 AM post. Oh, and eMudhra, a certificate authority that's issued over 60 million certificates, whose entire job is proving websites are who they say they are, was supposed to be using private keys that are random numbers over a hundred digits long, and one of them was 4. Just 4. And the others were like 66 and 237. Anyway, it's Wednesday.
