shettles (@sshettless) profile picture

shettles

@sshettless

πŸ₯΄

 Tempe, AZ
Joined October 2012
  • Tweets11.9K
  • Following499
  • Followers697
texted my 86 year old client asking her how everything went with her caregiver yesterday
Image from molly d :) (@mollydeez)
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quebec is wario to france
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Dutch bros gotta be federal w the questions they be asking 🀨
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I want to tell a story. When I was in like 3rd grade, I went with my mom while she dropped some drugs off (yes, she was). Anyways. She left me in the car. This guys comes out to β€œwatch” me and it’s just me and him. He looks over and asks. β€œYou don’t know what a haiku is, do you?”
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The White House Twitter account has gone goblin mode
Image from Ahmed Baba (@AhmedBaba_)
Image from Ahmed Baba (@AhmedBaba_)
Image from Ahmed Baba (@AhmedBaba_)
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i could really go for a harry potter movie marathon, a stormy night, and an xl pizza
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The caption explains that the doormat says β€œgayest place in town”
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When my grandma died, she set her husband up with her best friend as a parting gift. She's now buried on one side of him, with her best friend on the other. 40 years later, my family is suing each other to dig up her corpse and move it because 'there's no threesomes in heaven'
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A play in three acts
Image from DEI Lead at British East India Co. (@AnikVJoshi)
Image from DEI Lead at British East India Co. (@AnikVJoshi)
Image from DEI Lead at British East India Co. (@AnikVJoshi)
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Preemptively posting this.
Image from Anthony Michael Kreis, FRHistS (@AnthonyMKreis)
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when I say "huh" 7 times and they be like nvm..
Image from ꧁ des ꧂ (@0kaydes)
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shettles retweeted
keith (@K_L_E_) profile picture
keith@K_L_E_19 Aug 2022
this is the relationship i have with every friend i’ve ever made
Image from keith (@K_L_E_)
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[dming you] hey it seems like you are also a menace of some kind so you want to hang out?
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shettles retweeted
C (@HeronChe) profile picture
C@HeronChe20 Aug 2022
Why are threesomes only for sex why can’t I join in a couples argument if I want to
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LMAO based firefighter
Image from roachboy (@_roachboy)
Image from roachboy (@_roachboy)
Image from roachboy (@_roachboy)
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