The Colonel

Okay but real talk. Let’s just sit on the fact that the free-iPad-giving university needed its students to starve themselves in order to agree to a basic fucking needs center out of budgetary concerns.

Literally nobody: UK: okay fine we’ll give all the freshmen iPads lol

Broke: Not eating because you’re part of the 43% of UK students who are food-insecure. Woke: Hunger striking on behalf of those students for #BasicNeedsUK Bespoke: not eating because money is tight, but then saying it’s because of the hunger strike

Okay, but actually, vote.

Andy Barr ads: *scary voice* "Amy McGrath cares about peoples' access to healthcare and individual dignity and the environment." Amy McGrath ads: "I mean yeah, sure, but not *that* much. Remember guys, I also shoot people." Politics in Kentucky.

CATS BY -17

Hey, anyone know where I can get the Amy McGrath scantron?

Midterms? Where do I vote for the take-home exam?

Just to clear everything up: Bill Gatton Business School: "Gatton" Bill Gatton Student Center: "Billy G."

BREAKING NEWS: All the News is Broken

Anime Club Still Mad They Weren't Allowed to Put Dakimakura Body Pillow in Bill Gatton Time Capsule

BREAKING NEWS: Eduroam Down, Capioliutio Discovered Using Computer Labs to Mine Bitcoin

HELP: i have problems connecting to others, also eduroam :'(

BREAKING NEWS: Local Fraternity Challenges UK Sexperts to Sex-Off, Fundamentally Misunderstands Purpose of Group

Things That Seem Like a Good Idea When You're High: buying TLRY stock

BREAKING NEWS: Abortion Rates Rise as Pregnant Mothers Realize They Don't Want Their Children Born Into a World with Obnoxious Anti-Abortion Protesters

BREAKING NEWS: TLRY Comes Down Off High Really Badly

It's getting to be that time of year when the hate preachers come out of hibernation. Be prepared with your copy of W-H-O-R-E, the only bingo game hotter than the depths of hell that you're headed towards, you dirty dirty sinner. Play with your friends! mfbc.us/m/t97dq

A newborn construction site, separated from its mother for the first time, braves the harsh campus environment. It is searching for funding on which to feed. Nature is truly amazing.